Mr. Milliron Goes to Washington

Ummm...How cool is that?!?

2009-06-24T12:16:00.001-04:00

Don't ask questions, because my brain in summer mode is incapable of
teaching effectively (though I did give a little girl on the airplane
math help, as well as giving her a hard time for doing smart kid stuff
in the SUMMER)! However, like I have said before, I can't help being a
geek. So, enjoy the link, and tread lightly...your brain might explode
(especially if you click the 12,837,064 digit link)!

http://www.mersenne.org/

Sick Days

2009-06-04T22:02:00.003-04:00

At a time when I am reminded "use it if you got it" while simultaneously hoping that certain lower-back-upper-hamstring pains would just take a sick day of their own...I come across the story of this local girl who never missed school, EVER! Some people need to relax. I then find out its no big deal, cause some other girl did it in Terra Haute, IN. But I did check the math 13 years x 180 day = 2,340 straight days (geek...me, not her).

I think to myself: "Self, is it worth making a big deal about staying in school?"

Self: "Its that, or let every kid aspire to be Kanye West!"

And we all know how that turned out....
But he lives to write about it, and I'd like to share a few quotes from the book published by a dropout:

I hate the word hate
Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react
My mom taught me to believe in my flyness and conquer my shyness

Mom, why couldn't I have learned flyness instead of piano? Or is that not a learned skill?

I guess you either dropout, or go ALL-out and become like the never-been-sick club, or the spelling bee kids. Learning to spell words like (screw you, spellcheck):

fackeltanz
sardoodledom
schizaffin
maecenas
isagoge
sophrosyne

The lesson for today kids: don't settle for mediocrity...go straight for public embarrassment!

Jury Duty

2009-05-31T13:55:00.002-04:00

I know the implications of this post are not safe or ethical to admit publicly, but I'm so glad I have a civic obligation to possibly serve on a jury. I thought Memorial Day would help push me to the end of the year with a bit of good sister-visitation time, but apparently this stress isn't going to let up. Mandatory government day off, for the win.

The best part is, that missing tomorrow means, that there are only one and a half Mondays left in the school year (don't even get me started on the half-day-last-day on a Monday). And next Monday is Six Flags Episode Two: Revenge of the Phone Stealers. I just have to give them some horrible test and make sure that they retained some information from this year. Maybe I'll write them a ridiculous test while waiting for jury selections tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just blog (not tweet) and contemplate deleting my Facebook account. Wish me luck!

Established 1951

2009-05-21T21:59:00.003-04:00

So, I guess that means it can't be my fault if neither of my parents were even alive. But for a math teacher who spent the ENTIRE day stressing, "use your units!", this is a distressing sign to see. I should probably start thinking in terms of "raising future city planners" or at least not visiting towns with 562 fools. I mean, getting my change back wrong at McDonald's is insult enough, but people+feet+years=I still have to take off my shoes to count.

Blogtherapy

2009-05-14T17:03:00.002-04:00

I often breeze through blog feeds and education headlines to find something that eases the ridiculous moments, usually stopping to read if problems seem worse than the fun...I mean dysfunction...that I get in my district. However, I really enjoy bloggers after my own heart, who need a therapeutic release after the puberty-fueled chaos that is "a day in middle school."

So, after reading this post a few days ago, I think to myself: "Mr. Milliron, was there a reason you sat on a child today?"

Of course! I was brought up with rather logical consequences, and in my infinite wisdom (that may some day get me fired) I decided that if Michael couldn't sit down, then I would have to sit on him. I warned him of the consequences, and not 60 seconds later, he was bright enough to test the effectiveness of my threats. BAM! And y'all think I'm scrawny and boney...just wait 'til y'all get sat on!

Now, I'm sure the blogger's point is larger than threats, but I'm not ashamed that coercion is a part of my curriculum as it is defined:

the practice of compelling a person to behave in an involuntary way (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats, intimidation, or some other form of pressure or force.

Unfortunately, in Michael's case, he will never learn. But let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

As for me, I'll keep working on that infinite wisdom thing...

Feeling awkwardly appreciated...

2009-05-06T12:53:00.001-04:00

An uncomfortable, fish-like handshake from students is almost enough
of a sign of appreciation. However, nothing compares to the forced
applause and obligatory "excellence" awards, for everyone, to cap off
the pee wee soccer feelings in this assembly. But at least my
principal didn't forget this year...oh yeah, and ice cream!

Wow, Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

A gentleman and a scholar

2009-04-21T16:44:00.002-04:00

Probably one of the best lines I've heard all week:

“As I endeavor to protect our children from bears, DonorsChoose.org is protecting public school kids from classrooms that lack the materials necessary to rigorously prepare them for college,” said Comedy Channel’s Colbert, host of the nightly “Colbert Report,” in a statement.

I guess I should really be thanking these guy for this. But there is so little to thank Colbert for in life.

Things I've never learned...

2009-04-18T16:05:00.003-04:00

So, if you didn't get it from my last post...work is throwing curveballs at me. I should have seen this one coming though. Why not, though, right? I mean with the district test coming up, and students needing EVERY last moment to learn in the classroom, I should have assumed that my services would've been required in the gymnasium during our testing "pep assembly".

Yes. You heard me. Now, its one thing to have an assembly (one of about three on the whole year), and its another thing to call out all your teachers to do the "Stanky Legg" in front of the student body. Now, we all promptly refused...except for a few sad souls...but I most definitely blame my principal for this idiotic idea.

I try not to be so publicly negative, but this can't go unnoticed. For one, I had no idea how to appropriately perform the dance maneuver (though it is widely known, that I can perform other dance moves with great precision). Secondly, if I knew it, I certainly wouldn't share it with 12-year-olds. And finally, I'm sure that I didn't see it properly executed by any teachers. So, here it is...in its finest form...the exact maneuver with which my principal wished to bring ridicule and embarassment on his staff. All of us.

Its nice to be appreciated by your boss.

Confused...

2009-04-16T23:11:00.000-04:00

On the list of things that should worry me at this time in my life, my
work should take a big piece of that stress pie with testing and
failure on my horizons. I'm sure some reflection, soul searching and
maybe a W curve analysis might help, but right now I'm just wondering
why the gas pump is telling me I should stop by McDonald's and not to
forget to rent your DVDs from redbox. Yes, that little tv above the
pump started talking to me when I walked up to it. I am officially
over-stimulated, and starting to fear Big Brother.

Tips for April

2009-04-07T22:22:00.000-04:00

Pretend you have a social life again...

Tips for March #99

2009-04-06T23:49:00.001-04:00

No matter what happens...there is always "One Shining Moment"!

Tips for March #332

2009-04-05T22:37:00.003-04:00

Always relive the past. Always. God bless the DVR.

Tips for March #4

2009-04-04T19:51:00.003-04:00

If people keep telling you it's April now...don't believe them!

No foolin'

2009-04-01T21:12:00.000-04:00

50 days left of school!

Tips for March #37

2009-03-22T22:07:00.000-04:00

I think 15 out of the Sweet 16 is still pretty sweet. And (since that
isn't really a tip, and I'm just bragging) it's better to pick the
later round games correct. Like my brother always said...3 is more
than 2...

Tips for March #13

2009-03-21T21:05:00.002-04:00

If there is more than one 13th ranked team in the field that has a cool nickname like the Vikings and comes from an obscure conference...you have to pick at least one of them to pull the upset. I'm glad I picked the right one. Lucky 13!

Tips for March #6 through 11

2009-03-21T13:27:00.002-04:00

Even if you teach children all about numbers, some of them grow up not knowing how to tell the difference between a 6 and an 11. This may not seem like such a difficult concept, but when you see names like UCLA attached to the number 6, it then becomes difficult to see clearly. Especially when the number 11 is so close to A-10 or you like the sound of Utah State Aggies (it goes without saying...but I missed every 6/11 pick in the first round...please refer to Tip #12: do not pick teams based on emotion).

If anyone has free time available...I may need some tutoring on the difference between 8 and 9

Tips for March #21

2009-03-20T22:22:00.001-04:00

Hearing Bill Raftery say, "send it in big fella" can be both envigorating and detrimental to your bracket. But he does add in a few nicknames that make things exciting or innocuous.

Tips for March #16

2009-03-20T17:40:00.001-04:00

Always cheer for the 16 vs. 1 upset....even if it ruins your bracket!

Tips for March #288

2009-03-20T17:39:00.002-04:00

If need be, push students out of the way to get home for the official start of Spring Break (even if you really started your Spring Break last night and faked it through classes today!) Make phone calls home for students who get in your way, so that mom hides their XBox for the whole week off.

Tips for March #172

2009-03-20T00:33:00.002-04:00

Always rely on someone with a cool name. Thank you Orlando Mendez-Valdez & A.J. Slaughter!

Its funny, because its not

2009-03-18T21:55:00.005-04:00

When you have one of the top 5 worst days of teaching ever (yes...there was blood drawn), you just have to find something funny. Unfortunately, for me, I couldn't find anything at school that was funny. So, I looked to my nonsensical inspiration...Snuggies...I mean, Tracy Morgan. Feel free to laugh yourself, and if you don't watch 30 Rock yet...this is your warning.

My students would be so proud

2009-03-16T17:34:00.002-04:00

Confused, more likely, if they knew their teachers did anything social on the weekends. Let alone go to a ruckus concert like Ozomatli, starring the greatest MC since The Hammer (don't hurt me!) I may have developed an obsession with Chali 2na (his name not mine)...I mean come on...he's The Fish! The concert was like a ghetto quinceañera, without the 15-year-olds.

Regardless of my students' opinions on social interaction for their teachers, it is a blessing that I didn't see anyone do the Stanky Leg that night...and you should rethink your life path if you now what that means.

Coffee FAIL

2009-03-13T00:14:00.003-04:00

Can you guess what the most popular comment of the day was?:

A.) Mr. Milliron, your stylish new multi-colored shirt goes well with your shoes.
B.) Mr. Milliron, is your belly-button leaking?
C.) Mr. Milliron, did you spill coffee on yourself this morning?

Although many of you would assume that my student would be concerned for my clumsiness and choose C (classic test taking mistake)...

The correct answer is mystery choice D:

"Hey, Mr. Milliron got cat piss on hisself!"

(Makana...your comment is so appropriately timed!)

Because its March...and I'm going mad...

2009-03-09T22:40:00.003-04:00

(Subtitled: Because soon, I will post nothing but my feelings on college basketball!)

So, I've found a few things that have made me laugh recently. Since this hasn't happened much, in the immortal words of Kent McDonald: "Bro, I need to laugh!"

We'll start with the cheap laughs, and move onto some seriously threatening video footage (seriously, they are the No. 1 threat to America).

Alright, no one wants nightmares, so dream sweetly that you are not this guy (p.s. I was at a less ghetto Starbucks that very evening).

For the philosophers in the crowd (wondering if trees falling actually made the dinosaurs die off because of all the sound-less destruction) this will blow your mind!

And back to reality...the reality is...if this doesn't make a comeback on SNL this week...I'll protest!

Finally, since I'll soon be watching so much basketball from the couch (and I'm not sure whether it will be 75 degrees or snowing for Spring Break) I should probably be prepared (and no...its not a Snuggie!)

I hope I haven't lost any readers with this mindless post...but to be honest...until Spring Break...I'm feeling pretty mindless!

The view from below...

2009-03-02T13:12:00.001-05:00

Apparently global warming has side effects that include waiting until
March to begin the snowy season (and possibly the distortion of
children's brains during significant storms). Kids are actually fine
today, there are only twelve 7th graders here after the 2-hour
delay...but you know that ONE kid always has to show up and be a
pain...it's a good thing I got that extra sleep this morning! Maybe
I'll just have to bury him in the snow after school (I'm sure security
will look the other way!)

Recovered...

2009-01-25T23:14:00.011-05:00

So, I think I'm past the excitement enough to report:

It was awesome!

Alright, it was kind of a while ago...so maybe I should remind some of you who aren't religious readers of this or my dad's blog! My dad came to visit for the Obamapocalypse...the Barackuration...the...alright, I'll stop. It was an historic weekend that I will never forget. I'm sure many of you caught ALL the news and over-analysis of the weekend's events, but I'll just tell you what we DID and DID NOT do.

We did:

a.) stand in ridiculously long lines that at times felt like purgatory or something closely related to anticipatory failure.

b.) walk down the middle of the street (on more than a few occasions) because as a pedestrian you have the right of way (which I'm convinced is never true when people say that), but when there are 4 million extra people in a city of 500,000...some things just become necessary. See below as we evacuate the mall onto a 7 lane road, following HBO's concert (see "DID NOT" item c):c.) attempt to stay warm by becoming all too familiar with strangers (as a side note, for the first time in my life I heard the phrase "Snuggies are badass!" actually admitted in public)
d.) see famous people including Vanessa Williams and Samuel L. Jackson in person, and others like Bono and John Legend (see "DID NOT" item d), at a greater distance.

e.) attend the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America (wanna see proof...Where's Waldo?) Thanks again to Peter DeFazio (and my dad!).
We DID NOT:

a.) get attacked by terrorists! YAY! (in your face nay-sayers!)

b.) stay out to 5am last call. Even though almost all of our outings ended at a local watering hole within walking distance of Canada, we were usually pretty tired by 9pm. But I would've LOVED a half-smoke at 4 in the morning (see "Things to do before I die" #326)...this line would've killed me though...around into the alley?!?!:
c.) See or hear much when we stood outside in the cold for 6 hours to see the HBO concert on the Mall. We believe that the best way for HBO to repair this offense, is either a free year of HBO...or Beyonce at my birthday party! (If HBO needs to contact me...please leave a comment on this blog and I will put you in touch with my people)

d.) personally meet famous people, the president, or attend any social elite galas. That's right, I missed out on tickets to see John Legend perform at an open bar event...I'm an idiot not only for that, but because it was my best chance to meet and marry the cheerleader. Oh well, I guess I'll just wait until tomorrow night (Heroes RETURNS!).

e.) get left out of the ceremony. I know you may have heard a few horror stories about people stuck in lines...much like our own experience...except we weren't trapped in a tunnel. We came, we saw, we cried...alright, not really. And we sure didn't shed a tear when the former President Bush took off (for the last time) to leave the ceremony (seen below in the tiny speck above the Capitol).Like I said: a life-long memory! I think one of the coolest things about the weekend, was even through all the crap and confusion that was going on, people were just so EXCITED about what was going on, that we very rarely saw problems. I've never seen that many people in my life, and almost assumed that police would be in riot gear, ready to gas the mobs, but I was more like Lovefest '09. I know...many of you roll your eyes, but it was just cool to be there.

Home-y

2009-01-06T17:39:00.005-05:00

There is a continual conflict with metaphorical "home" living in DC. I guess it is nice that I have a bed, and the utmost of all "home" items, my TV in DC. However, DC lacks certain "caring" qualities, that I feel are necessary for my "home" needs. It was nice to be reminded of some of these requirements (and have some needs cared for) while visiting friends and family at "home", but the burden still lies on DC to step up to the plate.

Honestly, I can't expect DC to come anywhere close to Beervana, organic vino, views of the Cascades, or shades of green...but you have to expect them to at least try! After returning Sunday (trash day at our house), I noticed our commendable recycling can look a bit more pathetic in the winter's eve. Now, it was just as full as our trash can that night, but comparing it to the commercial-grade dumpster my mom was given by the garbage people in Oregon, I had to think...weak!

So, I did a little searching, and felt like a I jumped back in time on DC's lame government website, that had articles from 2004 about the day they tried to take recycling seriously. I'm sure someone had a good laugh about that poor excuse for "educating the public" into throwing away more trash into a new blue can. Like I said, I can't expect too much in comparison to being the best (apparently Forbes doesn't believe in ties for competitive "green-ness"), but I might have to start composting in our backyard to feel at home...nevermind, that might get me kicked out of my home.

Now, my western home was great for visiting, and I'm not ready to head back or anything...but (as usual) my joke of a blog is a distraction from crazy days at school. I love DC (and don't resent those of you here who believe I'm a hippie), but some days students threaten to pee on you....so you have to make a joke to think of something else.

From one line to the next...

2008-12-24T02:15:00.000-05:00

Even the planes had to line up to get in and out of Chicago, and now
I'm going to get in a line of cars that will go 2 mph in the snow/ice
all the way down to Eugene. I think they need to give HOURage points
instead of mileage points...I would win for flying across the country
and missing my flight, the lay overs should rack up free flights. But
it's Christmas. And it's worth it. And I'm almost somewhere to sleep.
I'll worry about presents later. Goodbye to all you crazy holiday
travelers!

Cleanliness is close to Godliness...

2008-12-11T00:17:00.003-05:00

But I think God knows that I had a good day in spite of the mess. I thought after last night's rather depressing post, I should add that life gets better. It was this time last year that I thought I might not live until Christmas break. As my parents raised me...and as I instill in my students...I'll live.

Comment of the day goes to Carlos. "Mr. Milliron, why you so chill?" he said, noticing my good mood. What I wanted to say was: "Well for the first time in days, you actually want to learn more than fight someone, and I haven't been cursed out in almost 2 hours...so life is looking up!". What I ended up saying was something lame about math...it's tough being a geek...but I have to keep up appearances. It's tough to get kids to want to learn, but when it works...it ends up looking something like this mess! I guess its worth it...most days.

Tellin' it like it is...

2008-12-09T22:11:00.005-05:00

I guess conferences are what we could call, uneventful. I could have taken the high road, and given a few students the benefit of the doubt...but only a few parents showed up...so I made it interesting.

Actually, I just told the truth. In fact, its much like a news report. So, when Danesha's mom asked how she was doing in class, she was a little more than put off by the truth (Hey, she said it...not me!). Now, I thought about calling my dad first to find out if I was TRULY a bastard...but then the question answered itself. And I think Danesha was just upset that she had been dragged to conferences knowing exactly what she had done. I don't seek out opportunities to "snitch" as it were...but I have a hard time lying to parents (just ask my own!)

Speaking of the truth: According to a quality review of our school...only 36% of teachers at our school ACTUALLY believe that we are on the right track (compared, unfortunately, to the 31% of teachers in the district who believe their schools are on the right track). No comment. Just the truth.

I have 8 days of school until vacation. No comment. Just the truth.

I have 2 weeks until I get to see my family. No comment. Just the truth (actually, the truth is...I'm excited!).

I think more people need to hear the truth. I, however, could just use some sleep. In the meantime, consult the Bible (or wikipedia).

How do you spell relief?

2008-11-28T23:47:00.002-05:00

I think I needed this 4 day weekend about a month ago. I'm sad that the holiday feast wasn't spent with family, and that someone didn't know the difference between sweet potatoes and...evil orange puke yams. But overall, this weekend just needed to be restful...and I would give thanks!

So, I'm already on my way to relaxing and by the picture you might be able to tell why! Let's go back to Thursday though...I woke up at 7:30! Huh? Not to cook a turkey, but my roommate and I decided to "Trot for Hunger"...which I guess a day of gluttony would be good reason to run in the freezing cold for people who have to sleep in it. I was in pretty sad shape running with a guy who's trained for triathlons, but again...not the point of the event.

Dinner was good (because I opened a can of olives to make it feel like real Milliron feasting) and my pumpkin pie was awesome (because it was the easiest thing) and the nap after dinner was even better (did I mention dinner happened at noon because my roommate had to work on a holiday...crime never sleeps).

So, I guess I didn't learn anything about gluttony because I sat around and ate leftovers...followed by a night's rest...followed by a morning's gluttonous shopping spree. Hence the photo. Ummm...plasma is pretty awesome though! You can't ever justify somethinglike this in your budget that is this ridiculous using logic, but then again I spend all my time with middle schoolers...so logic is lost on me!

Happy Thanksgiving! Here's to firsts: first feast without my family, first Thanksgiving without seeing a movie (double sorry to my family) since I was probably 7, and the first time I've ever gone out with the crazies on Black Friday...not sure I'll do any of those things again!

Thanks. I don't know for what (probably just continuing to indulge my stupid blog about nothing) but I'm sure all of you should be thanked for something that you've done for me! Be blessed.

You know you're a sick human being when...

2008-11-19T19:01:00.003-05:00

...you enjoy the sight of a teary-eyed child entering your classroom. I have to say this is an especially annoying, spastic child. Nontheless, he was crying, and I might have had something to do with it. I ratted him out to his mom, for skipping my class twice in one week...oops! His mom showed up to school to chew him out. Way to go mom!

Now, I probably got what I deserved when the girl who sits in the back asked me a penis question. That was also my fault, being that I tried to use the "4 out of 5 dentists prefer Trident" commercial as an example in my lesson. But it's memorable...the squirrel jumps up and bites the
5th dentist in the "nads" as she smartly pointed out. Oops again. I'll get this right one day.

Sneak Attack

2008-11-14T00:31:00.002-05:00

For fear of being tagged as a terrorist website (even though I'm already sure they've tagged me for voting for Obama), I'll stay away from saying things like "I took Spokane by storm". And for fear of upsetting those folks I didn't fly across the country to see, I'll refrain from saying things like "Spokane was an amazing weekend!"

Needless to say, there is some doubt in you naysayers, that prevent Spokane from being awesome. I guess I should spend more time on planning lesson planning, and oh yeah...sleeping, but oh well. Spokane is awesome and I wanted to take a quick second to thank those fine folks who made my time great, and at points, a great surprise.

Speaking of surprise...Long Island is getting it's own share in less than 24 hours! I'll either be too tired to teach by Sunday night, or I will hve had just enough fun weekend action to make it through until Christmas. I guess we'll just wait and see.

Feelings...nothing more than feelings...

2008-11-05T21:58:00.007-05:00

Over the last 48 hours, I've felt...

...pride
...frustration
...excitement
...nervous
...exhaustion
...and uncomfortable

Feeling some of these feelings in the places you'd least expect. The exhaustion came from being asked repeatedly by my students if I was either voting for, or related to, McCain (probably could've plead harassment there...but the exhaustion became apathy in response to biting comments from 11-year-olds). Frustrated that school dragged on SO long and that 7th graders are not capable of non-offensive political converstaions, I found myself with nowhere to go in frustration, and finding it hard to understand how to be relevant to black kids when talking about a black man (did I mention I'm white? wow...that sentence finally ended).

Moving on. My nerves and excitement kicked in when I walked to the polling place. I heard nothing but "3 HOUR WAIT" and "LINES AROUND THE BLOCK" all morning...so I got a little nervous about standing in the rain. Turns out, no line, but pretty uncomfortable box to stand in for voting. I had a little free-time (2 hours and 39 minutes, give or take), so I waited patiently...

Even though I was one of the 92% on this side of the DC vote...pride set in. So, I'm pretty excited. Not to mention talking with teachers at school today had a WAY better tone than the usual, "Hey, I had a fight in my class today!" I am still a little lost however...no, Obama is not my savior...nor the antichrist. I'm lost in that relevance to my students still.

This brings me to a post that I've been meaning to add for a while. So, while most of you will probably be stuck looking at the picture above, I'll try to figure out how a geek can be relevant in the world of teaching. In a great (and long-winded as usual) NY Times article, I was hooked by the quote from Phillip Seymour Hoffman's character in Almost Famous:

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool.

I think I have my inspiration (or maybe just motivation) to stay just the way I am...tall, skinny and white. A change, I won't believe in. I'm resigning to the truth that my students will always be cooler than me (most other people I know are for that matter), but "knowing is half the battle"...or was it..."the more you know"?

"Have you ever seen a white guy blush before?"

2008-10-12T18:26:00.004-04:00

I had no idea that the phrase I intended as a joke, would lead to a discussion about racism.

A Few Important Side Notes: I would like to point out that I am the one being quoted in the title, a good number of my students in previous experience had never seen a white person turn red from embarrassment before, and lastly...this does not mean they are strange...it just means they don't see a lot of white people other than me on a given day.

Ok, moving on. During 2nd period on Friday, I had posted a warm-up problem with an unintentional error. Yes, the math teacher made a math mistake...as my students say: "my bad!" Upon that realization, I felt the hue of embarrassment creep up on my cheeks. Looking to make an awkward situation even more awkward (cause that's how I roll), I muttered from the back of the room: "Oh crap...err...well...have you ever seen a white guy blush before?"

What was an intended joke and light-hearted transition to correct my arithmetic mistake, evoked a mixed response of immature giggles (which was my intention) and the unexpected screech of offended horror. Somehow, this offended a room FULL of non-white people.

Another note I forgot to mention before: if you have never met me...I am tall, skinny and white. That's right...now that information is out there for all the information super-highway surfers to find. The secret is unleashed.

So, I came to the front of the room in a flash, claiming that I had made the comment (maybe they thought another student had said it as a cruel joke). Then, from the energetic (at times, spastic) child in the front, Deangelo: "Mr. Milliron, you shouldn't call yourself that."

"I'm sorry, call myself what?" (thinking maybe now it was just a auditory mix-up).

"White."

"So, what am I supposed to call myself?" I said in complete disbelief.

I don't think I was prepared to hear my students be politically correct, being that the concept is lost on them when trying to break up a fight or deter the use of foul langauge. In any event, I found myself in a new world, where children had been raised either fearing the use of the "W" word or at least were unfamiliar with skin color recognition. Alright, that's not entirely fair, but I did pose them a critical question.

"Now, before I offend anyone in this room, how many of you call yourself black?" (several hands raise) "And how many of you call yourself African-American?" (several other hands raise, with a few remaining raised in confusion from the last question. I can only imagine the undecided students were busy pondering the meaning of life).

"Now is it wrong that some of you call yourself black? Is it wrong that some of you call yourself African-American?" Neither response was entirely unanimous, but enough to make my point. So, after assuring them that I was not racist (toward myself or other crackers like me), I made sure that they took "white" off the list of offensive names to call white people list (that we briefly assembled). I also gave them full permission to go home and tell their family: "my math teacher is tall, skinny and white...and he's damn proud of it." (I didn't tell them to swear, but I let one fly...I mean...I had already been racially insensitive, so why not?)

I guess I should probably fear for my job, but for now I'm enjoying a 3-day weekend. Thanks Columbus!

But I'm not saying that because he's white...

Who dat be?

2008-09-30T23:01:00.002-04:00

I ask, not only because I saw that sentiment written on a constructed response practice today, but because I feel that we should probably figure out if this guy who went to Washington over a year ago is still alive (or at least hasn't changed his name to one of the many inconvenient nicknames his students give him).

Wait back up...summer? What ever happened to that? Here's my thought...if you didn't experience the joy of being a part of it, then I might just have to send you the Cliff's Notes (what can I say, teacher's make the worst students). With that being said, I think it is time to instill knowledge in you students out there:

TEACHER : Summer :: VEGAS : Whatever happens, stays there

(yeah, I had a crappy Verbal score...but I still got into college...Geeks RULE!)

But, at this point...its just too long ago to really do justice to my awesome summer. I apologize to those of you who feel cheated out of getting a "shout out" or ever-popular "picture post", but I think I need to interrupt the silence with, "I'm alive!"

As for this school year:

NEW...

teachers, teachers who I can be friends with, teachers who are my age, teachers who may or may not be considered whiter than I am, convenient location near the 'hood, school interior (that still is being finished, and prevented us from setting up classrooms until 36 hours before students showed up), promises from the school district, technology, and of course...7th graders.

SAME OLD...

administration, lack of administrative support, busy work for teachers to prevent them from being good teachers, student behavior issues (made worse by lack of administrative support...a serparate problem than the one previously listed), flying by the seat of my lesson-planning pants, feeling that I have no idea what I am doing on the other side of the country, couple of teachers from last year who are making sure that I haven't pulled my hair out yet.

I am going to have to explain more of a lot of that someday I'm sure, but for now, just the facts ma'am. I thought about posting the video that made me famous in DC...but then I thought no one really knows me...so I'll keep it that way (and then I don't get fired for writing mean things in my blog). So, Mr. Milliron will remain nameless and hopefully continue to entertain the few people who still think that this blog is interesting. I miss you all (and I can say that honestly, because I haven't seen anyone in a REALLY long time, and I'm starting to think that I'm living in my classroom...I need summer back...just for a little while). Goodnight!

Happy 100th Posting of Non-Sense on the Interweb!

2008-07-11T15:54:00.009-04:00

I'd like to thank everyone who has made this a complete waste of time--even if you didn't read all 100. I guess I can feel pretty good about it even if no one reads it (because a few of you even lied and said you liked my new haircut...don't worry, I'm growing it back). But this is a special day...and if you haven't heard yet I'll start this post off by telling you that I have a job for next year (in spite of administrative idiocy). I had to wait 4 weeks to hear back from my principal on being hired (its almost like getting picked last in kickball...and I would know the feeling!)

Difficult employers aside, there are plenty of things that I DO enjoy about DC, now that I think back on the last 100 posts--my job is most definitely one of them. But as I've been on the West Coast for a few days now, I've been reminiscing about a few great things I've learned about DC:

I live in one of the best neighborhoods in the country (crap...now you know where I live!)

Well, as far as hotties in the DC...lets just say its a good thing I don't live in Philly I guess. (Remember, I'm just reporting the facts...this is not my opinion) Oh yeah, DC is near the bottom on this link...get scrollin'.

But we did win at the obvious categories.

Outside Magazine agrees with the American Planning Association, and says the rest of DC is awesome, too. Tell me something I don't know...if you didn't know here's the article that you can steal.

Even though the Nationals are terrible at playing baseball, they do some things well. And if Beckham didn't take all the attention, people might see that DC United actually put MLS on the map (sorry, WNBA...you'll have to wait for another city to make you popular)

And finally, in uninteresting news, DC was ranked the No. 9 place to retire, even though I think I lived in the No. 1 place at one time.

But, I'm not retiring...not for a while. So, in the meantime I will just enjoy my sweet sweet summer vacation. And if you're lucky, I might let you come visit and show you more reasons why DC is awesome.

101 things to do on your summer vacation:

2008-06-21T19:48:00.012-04:00

1. Absolutely nothing

2. Refer to number 1

3. The 3rd rule of Fight Club is...nevermind...

Actually the first item would probably defeat the purpose of listing 101 things...but its about all I've done since I cleaned out my classroom and came home on Friday, June 13th: the first day of summer! You might think that Friday the 13th could be bad, but (all bogus administrative behavior aside) it has been the beginning of a beautiful summer. So far, I have refrained from doing anything productive or important for about 10 days. Unfortunately, I had to start packing for a trip back to the West Coast.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally excited to go visit the great Pacific Northwest. However, I have been living the high life sitting around doing nothing. (Actually, I think I've just been making my roommates jealous...because I'm so awesome.) I feel bad ruining my streak of days in which I accomplished nothing. I mean, in those few awesome days I saw Tiger Woods throwdown a victory that everyone saw coming (not to mention an MJ-esque fist-pump/thrust that will go down as an historic celebratory act).

I also found out that dreams really do come true, and that only trashy tv exists in the summer. I wound up seeing a couple of good movies (p.s. Kung Fu Panda is legen....wait for it...DARY!)

But, I guess I can't say that there was absolutely nothing accomplished:

Ok, I don't know exactly what I accomplished there (or if I should have kept the shag) but it sure will be cooler this summer! Hey, if you're on the West Coast...I'm coming to find you! Ready. Go.

Funny story...

2008-06-13T17:00:00.000-04:00

...but we all know I don't tell stories very well. So, the end of the story: I have a new phone, problem solved. The beginning of the story: my phone flew (yes, flew) out of my pocket on a roller coaster at Six Flags America. I'm sure you've all heard the story by now, but that's another aspect to my bad story-telling: re-telling.

So, I had a list of students who begged: "Mr. Milliron, you gonna ride the rides?" When I was the only teacher/adult on the trip to reply, "yes" that list quickly turned into a demanding line of students dragging me through the park to the next crazy ride. I was, the most popular 7th-grade math teacher in the park that day. I figured the kids would get tired and hot by about lunch time, and then head for the water park. I had strategically left my trunks at home, so no man/woman/child could topple my skinny, white frame into the wave pool in an attempt to end my short-lived teaching career. But by noon, I hadn't ditched all the kids, and Benton was SURE to get me on a ride that would make me hurl.

So, we went on ROAR. No big deal, except Benton's face was priceless on the action photo taken of us. Then he ran me down the path to The Mind Eraser. I want to you to look at the picture of the flipping corkscrew, and imagine if you can picture a reason for me to have my cell phone in my pocket.

Neither did my cell phone. So, it went airborne at some point during the ride and never came back...or did it? Well, someone who has access to the grounds at Six Flags got their inappropriate hands on my phone...and I would like to take a moment to apologize for those of you who were offensively called or sent text messages from my cell phone from June 10-12. I can sincerely say it was not me, and because Six Flags customer service is unresponsive (and lies about having not found my cell phone) they heard it from me...via voicemail. Like I said: problem sovled.

(This apology is endorsed by the "Mr. Milliron campaign for not looking like a jerk")

Really...on a school night?

2008-05-28T20:52:00.001-04:00

Yeah. Ben Folds. I'm there! At the greatest venue ever (ok...second to The Gorge). Wolf Trap in Vienna, VA. A ways out of the city...and I had to drive in all that traffic out of the Metro area, but totally worth it for a place that seems to be all about the performing arts. A bunch of people laying on the lawn waiting for Ben to rock the house...oh here he comes...BYE!

2008-05-26T23:55:00.003-04:00

This will be quick I swear. But I spent the weekend trying to catch up on the old DVR (digital video recorder if you're not into the TiVo jargon), and realized that I'm obsessed with a few things, TV being one of them.

I can't get enough of the Discovery Channel, and I think I agree: I love the whole world!

I have a few specific TV addictions, and some of them were affected more by the writers strike than others. Good news is that the cheerleader is safe, and is out of high school, so people can stop making fun of me. But she has been in DC a few times, and I'm upset that I missed her...but she seemed to be doing good things for the second class citizens of the district (and something about whales that need saving).

Then I sat back and dreamed of how I wish I owned a Nintendo Wii...or maybe I just want what this guy has: mega old school!

Then I got bored...and I started to miss the NW. This kid cheered me up.

Okay, I think that was a sufficient waste of time. But this has been therapeutic, being that May is the end of so many enjoyable vices.

In other news...

2008-05-25T10:30:00.001-04:00

I decided to spend money again. The Washington Nationals have a new stadium, and I hadn't been until tonight. This place is awesome, and I can't wait to take people to Nats games this summer, but I'm a little more excited to see the Mariners in July! The Nats were beaten soundly by the Brewers, and that is quite ironic because I was planning a Memorial Day brew. Hopefully something a little better than Schlitz or PBR. Oh yeah, and I have rediscovered the joy of txt blogging.

Obnoxious

2008-05-24T19:45:00.002-04:00

I told one of my students to find out the definition of that the other day. He didn't get it the sarcasm (OJ was right). But what I meant was that he needed to understand that I was having a difficult time dealing with him. However, nothing is more troubling than paying over 4 bucks for gas. This may prevent me from doing anything fun for the three day weekend...

Good Times

2008-05-18T23:17:00.005-04:00

So, I feel I've been rather negative lately. Maybe that's because I have to find a new school at which to work...but I promised myself I'd be positive in this post. So, I have three things to mention that might let some folks in on the highlights of my life.

#1: First, something you probably already knew: homebrewing. But I thought I'd share this:
Yeah, a National Day for something I've done twice. This was a total whim, and I went to a homebrew store, and actually had the guts to share my beer with some other veterans. It was pretty fun, and I may even join one of their clubs (don't worry, its not a cult)

#2: Kickball: Yeah, I joined a social sports team. And I didn't get picked last, but met a few cool people and enjoy breaking up the week with a bit of kickball down the street from the White House.

...and for the sake of getting some sleep, #3: I'm not going to say anything but: "GO SEE THIS MOVIE!"

Click this link for the trailer (and keep clicking other videos if you want to feel good)
Click here to see if you can see it in your area (drive miles to see it...its worth it!)
...and if you want to just feel good for an hour or two, GO SEE THIS MOVIE!

Alright, I feel pretty good. I'll try this again later...did I mention I'm coming back to the West Coast in July? That's good too...man, I'm on a roll!

I'm not the only one who forgets!

2008-05-08T16:30:00.005-04:00

I probably don't have to publicly apologize for not posting, I was hosed by my good friend Kellie, and I do feel a little bad that I haven't shared a few more interesting moments of life (including the group of homebrewers I met, hanging out with Oregonians, or the payoff of tax returns...nope, not a Wii). But I felt alright the last few days about it, because I wasn't the only one who forgot something:Our principal wished us an "after-thought" Happy Teacher Day...over the noon day announcements. Not only are these the least understood announcements in the confusion that comes before the lunch period, but IT WAS A DAY LATE! Funny, because I was looking through old emails today after school and found a link to this poster, THAT HE SENT TO US! I don't know if the right emphasis is coming through these series of tubes, that is the internets, but this is quite comical. I wouldn't go as far as to say ironic, because I didn't expect that he appreciated us much anyway. However, it is dang funny that he added later in the day an announcement...nay...a command to students:

"Students, be sure to appreciate your teachers this week. I am asking that all students write their teacher a note in thanks and support of the hard work that they do for you."
....riiiiight. Let's just say I feel more appreciated by the big REI sale this week.

I'm not sure how many other teacher's received, but I haven't seen anything (unless Alex thought he was appreciating me today with four-letter-pyrotechnics, or Brian mistook a threat for appreciation). Anyways, I just want all the teachers out there to know (even if your PTA already thanked you...or some student's mom made you cookies) that I think your pretty awesome. This quote was also in the forwarded "principal" email. Hope other people enjoy their jobs too...but I love teachers the most:

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job.
~Donald D. Quinn

P.S. If you need to feel better about your job this guy is bluntly honest, and this guy is flat hilarious, and will make you glad you didn't have to teach him!

P.P.S. Happy Friday!

I told you it was awesome...

2008-04-08T19:12:00.001-04:00

One Shining Moment!

2008-04-08T00:11:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting here alone on my couch, listening to boring Jim Nantz commentary about things I already know (the Jayhawks are awesome). The only reason I'm awake is for the greatest 4-minute montage in sports...brought to you by the late great Luther Vandross. And I'm trying to calm down, because I know I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight, and its not because of that terrible beer heaven commercial. (p.s. if heaven serves Miller Lite...I'll crap a holy brick!) I won't sleep tonight, because that game was so exciting/nerve-racking/awesome. And if you don't know why that's awesome, maybe you need awesome lessons.

The reason I'm alone, and what I'm learning again tonight, is that its midnight and East Coast sports fans get NO sleep (if I didn't know that after Monday Night Football and watching any Pac-10 sport). The roommates all went to bed well before halftime, and I jumped up and cheered as quietly as I could. But it paid off and Kansas won it (and me some money!) Now I have to live up to my promise to my roommate of not watching anymore college basketball...until next year! Always, the greatest sports event of the year. Oh man, I really need to sleep. Good night...and Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

Don't Be Alarmed...

2008-04-03T22:32:00.004-04:00

...its just a bomb threat. Yup. Just a bomb threat. Whoever the faker was, missed April Fool's Day by about 48 hours, but still managed to cause a little chaos and ruin all possible learning for the day. It was probably the most interesting form of excitement I've seen as a teacher. I mean breaking up fights and getting cussed out are all pretty glamorous for a teacher, but this I can only say was interesting. It was such an uncomfortable day (and I'm not even talking about being threatened with death and destruction), let's just say a few of the teachers were less than surprised by the administrative tactics (or lack thereof) during the situation.

But I don't want to get into gossip or slander...much better things happened for me to waste time talking about that:

Yeah, I went there like Degrassi...oh, it goes there like Spring Break! (Sorry...I got side tracked.) Don't worry, I didn't do anything that's illegal by Las Vegas law. And I even came out with a little extra money because I obeyed the law (Go Kansas!) Staying out late, getting sunburned by the pool during the day...and not a student or a math book for miles.

Now, don't get me wrong...I enjoy my job, but its not always fun (days like today). And a few days away makes me enjoy it a little more. Being a responsible working adult is over-rated. So, it was great to see my family and my best friend. After all that fun, though...I came home and crashed on the couch for 3 more days, tried to ignore the fact that there were only 3 days more until vacation ended, and counted down a few more off the field of 65. My roommates thought I was depressed and dying all weekend. But actually, I was so content with 5 days in Vegas, that I didn't need anymore activity to make it any better (except for sweet March Madness action...sorry, I told you its an obsession). It was a great Spring Break.

Yes, I'm going to leave it rather open-ended. No, its not because "what happens in Vegas..." whatever, but because I'm a horrible storyteller and it could go on forever (oh and the pictures are a little...mmm...interesting. There's that word again). What more do you want from me, I already told you I make my own alcohol (which I might go for round two this weekend)...did I mention GO KANSAS! Happy half-day Friday!

Indeed!

2008-03-23T11:43:00.002-04:00

Though I hope none of you get confused with the original meaning of Easter (that being the celebration of the Goddess Eostre of Fertility or something that has to do with colored eggs), I also hope that you didn't have to suffer through too much of the Charlton "Moses" Heston saga on TV last night. I accidentally bumped the remote control last night from CBS (and my obvious weekend of March Madness) and stumbled upon ABC, where Moses was parting the Red Sea. Holy Moses that was awesome, until I flipped back and realized I had missed 4 minutes of the game, bummed. But I realized that there might be a little something more important this weekend than how many of my Sweet 16 teams can survive...I hope you've figured it out too. If not...Jesus still loves you! (Hint, it has nothing to do with anything I've mentioned in this post...)

What I meant to say was...

2008-03-18T21:40:00.004-04:00

...my beer was awesome, and my guests were even better. But I think the moment has passed now and lets face it, it was my beer...so I liked it better. I'm only kidding friends! I've had a few people come to visit and kinda ignored some of the fun stuff that happened when you have friends around. So...let's just say, I wasn't as great as when I visited her in NYC, but I do enjoy getting to see my old friend Beth. And as nice as everyone was about the taste of my beer, I'm thinking there is room for improvement (and next time I think my roommate will decide against adding a few drips of hot sauce to "his" bottle). Don't worry, there were plenty more where that came from. And even after a few days in honor of ol' St. Patrick...there is more Irish Stout to make it through a mad mad mad month.

That's right kids...its March! And if you know me at all, then you don't need an excuse as to why this month will be scarce with entries. Not only is Spring Break upon the fine District of DCPS (cough), I'm pretty tired of seeing students to be completely honest. I need my break, and I'm toughing it out. As soon as Thursday afternoon hits, I'll thank my employer for giving us Good Friday off and celebrate by locking my TV on CBS for 3 weeks of great basketball. Now before I step aside to analyze my brackets one last time, I think its appropriate to update the Tournament Countdown at: 1 Day, 13 Hours, 17 Minutes and 37, 36, 35, 34...Seconds...no, not Jack Bauer, but the closest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris' fists (or college basketball in my case!) Alright, there are a few more upsets that I have to predict. I promise I'll post again soon...I mean, I am going to Vegas next week...who wants to miss out on that!

p.s. Sorry about the out of place score box...but I'm going to try and fix it so it fits somewhere in my blog...I mean, at least then you'll know what I'm doing!

Bottles and caps and just clap your hands

2008-03-02T17:09:00.001-05:00

...just clap your hands. Where its at? Hiding in the closet for two more weeks! Ready to go.

Cleanliness is close to Godliness

2008-03-02T15:45:00.000-05:00

The bottles are cleaned and being filled with the beer of questionable goodness. Ok, so I have no idea whether it will be good or not in two weeks. No promises on the quality, but I will have several friends around to tell me whether my beer ruined St. Patricks Day. I'm hoping after I do this enough, I'll be better at keeping the process from being tainted. So far that's been my biggest concern. Ok, keep bottling.

Its Alive!

2008-02-25T08:12:00.001-05:00

No seriously. And I woke up to a little mess to clean. Those dang yeasts worked hard last night and I'm betting I'll have to clean again after work. Don't tell my principal that I'm late to school because of beer. Actually its not beer yet, so I guess I'm clear. Alright I'm finally at school.

And now we wait...

2008-02-24T23:44:00.000-05:00

It has its resting place for the next week. And I will go find mine now that I've cleaned up. I'm so nervous I could puke. I feel like I did it right, but I don't have high expectations for the first go. As long as it appears to be beer, that will be something! Alright, goodnight and if I cared enough I'd watch some Oscars. But someone will tell me tomorrow anyway. Wow. I can't believe I just brewed my own beer...I hope this turns out alright.

The day is almost over

2008-02-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

Siphoning into the fermentation vessel. Just cool it down and then the yeast can go to town.

Retraction: rookie mistake.

2008-02-24T19:31:00.001-05:00

Oops...I meant mash. This is the wort. And it just has to cool a bit, them it'll be ready to ferment!

Step one:

2008-02-24T18:19:00.001-05:00

Now thats what I call wort.

Did I ever tell you the story about...

2008-02-24T14:44:00.000-05:00

Only the most beloved and honest friends and family will tell me that I am a terrible story teller. I've come to live with it, as it has been said: its not mean, its honest. I feel that with all the visitors I have had and activities that I have mentioned lately, I may have left some things unexplained. I have no real intention of making any of that more clear, but I'm merely warning you that this entry will be a hodgepodge of connections to past entries.

I made mention of a certain summer job opportunity a few weeks ago. Little did I know that it was going to start such a stir among my friends and family. Sorry to report, the position has been filled. I was too late. But at least I didn't look like this guy! I may have a new lucrative hobby however.

I am rather shy when it comes to blogging about alcohol related activities, depending on the views of my readers. But, I am announcing a shift in blog-self-censorship: I'm brewing my own beer! That's my new announcement (sorry Kellie...you can still scream if you want). I have loved beer since I was allowed to drink it (Confession Sidenote: I drank beer once about a month before I turned 21...oops...but if it makes you feel better, the beer was terrible!).

So, I decided to put on hold any desires for a Nintendo Wii so I could rock out with Rock Band. Or ideas about becoming an astronaut (yes, that is a hobby for teachers I hear). My new hobby: homebrewing. It was quite the investment, but my financial advisor was over-ruled by my longing for good tasting beer. No promises that I will actually make good beer for a while, but it will be a step up from the lack of East Coast micro-breweries, and the over-abundance of Euro-beers. I'm looking for a change (no that hasn't been trademarked by Obama yet) and I am looking for a hobby other than needle-point. Who knows, maybe I can make some new homebrew friends. I'll keep you updated on the progress...unfortunately the process takes a while (kinda like me posting to my blog!)

In the meantime, a friend of mine sent me the link to a pretty funny blog that I thought I would share with you...because of its direct connection to how white I am. Some of my favorites: Co-ed Sports, Recycling, Irony, the Sunday Times...classic. If you didn't know, I like to make fun of myself! Enjoy.

2008-02-23T17:18:00.001-05:00

Standby for major life-changing purchase announcement!

I'm stuck...again...

2008-02-23T16:00:00.001-05:00

So the funny thing about my job, is that its ridiculous! Wanna know why? Oh, you already know. Well, if you didn't hear that DC was waiting for the end-all-of-ice-storms, then you would've been sad to hear that the freezing rain wasn't that big a deal. Apparently it was bad enough for all the teachers in the district to just plain skip work. That's right, I showed up to work on Friday being one of two teachers from the 15 employed at our school. Small school I know, but when no one shows it feels REAL big REAL fast. By the time the bell rang there were 5, and a 6th showed up really late. The good news was several parents acted in the same defensive pattern. The best news being, that we were not required to teach students that weren't ours. I had a pretty calm day, though the admin hated babysitting in the gym I bet (sorry they owe me) because this morning I am sitting in a teacher
training for a web-based math curriculum. Yup. On a Saturday no less. Standby...I may freak soon!

A Happier Note

2008-02-09T16:39:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you noticed, but the last entry was a little angry. And though this week wasn't any less difficult or stressful than last time I wrote, I did do something fun this week.

Thursday night, I went to my favorite coffee place, to see a concert. If I haven't told you about Ebenezer's, and you don't know about the Service Station in Spokane...let's just say its coffee served with a little Jesus! Its owned by a church (coincidently, one that I have attended a few times lately) and last time I went to their Saturday service, I saw a flyer for Brandon Heath.

Its funny that I think of him related to the Northwest all the times I've seen him, because he's from actually Nashville, but he is a great Christian songwriter/guitarist. He told a lot of the stories behind the songs (including how he found Christ at Malibu...no not CA...I thought about a shout out...but I was doing my best Wallflower act that night squeezed in a corner), he also played a bunch of songs that hadn't been recorded or performed for anyone yet.

Not bad for a Thursday night, but it did make me miss Spokane (ewww...did I just say that?) Alright, back to work...my weekend job of preparing for my weekday job. Speaking of jobs, my roommate sent me this link as a joke...but I don't think they expected me to apply. I'm hoping I hear back from them...because it would be the best summer job of all time!

All in a year's work...

2008-01-31T23:46:00.000-05:00

...alright, my first year of teaching isn't even over with and I'm already amazed at the crap I've had to deal with: from paperwork to Human Rejects...I mean Resources, political gesturing from administrators to blanketed "grounds for termination" threats, I can only imagine what is still left to be experienced in teaching. Though this may be a heightened experience because I'm in DC (no I'm not using any performance-enhancing drugs), I see the latest drama as just another surreal feeling.

What is it you ask?: oh, yeah....they're talking about merging our school into another school, effectively closing down our building (the real estate will probably be worth millions...or a billion dollar rich-man-shopping-complex...or a sweet place for somebody's office). Let me start by saying: I will still have a job no matter what. Same teachers, same students, different overcrowded building...this is only a possibility. The consolidation reflects an attempted change in the past poor spending habits in the district. So, our new Chancellor (appointed by the mayor) has plans to shake up a lot of things. Long story short (which I am incapable of pulling off): the Chancellor is a political-economic head of a community-family-child based organization, and it will be hard for her to be liked at her job (sorry, no sympathy from me...I'm a middle school math teacher!)

Why did I tell you all this again? Oh yeah, because all you jerks in the northwest keep getting snow days, and late starts while my "white n nerdy" self was trying to look inconspicuous at a meeting with the Chancellor herself! She showed up to hear community input about pro/cons of consolidating another school over our school. Essentially its a purely business/numbers decision, and teachers-parents-community members tried to pull on some heartstrings. Now I'm just starting to sound negative, but its a little of my honesty. I guess I'm making this sound like a really bad thing everyone should worry about, and its not! Actually, I just wanted a snow day or a nap rather than this big showy meeting during my lunch hour! I guess I'll have to settle with tomorrow being Friday...not the same.

(note: I didn't link to any stories about the DCPS school consolidation plan because the un-biased ones are all on washingtonpost.com but you have to have an account. So feel free to search on your own, or just ask me) And here's another link to go along with my unintentional theme.

The first one from the right is my dad

2008-01-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

And the other guys have been enshrined by the bathrooms at the National Portrait Gallery. I've been pretty excited for my dad to visit me this weekend because I knew we'd end up doing something fun like standing in line for the bathroom to see Colbert. Actually we will probably continue to do a few lame tourist things and not look like idiots too much. But thats the best part about having the biggest dork for a dad...you look a little less dumb when he's around. Alright off to do more exciting stuff. I promise no more toilet pictures.

This will scare the neighbors

2008-01-12T23:32:00.001-05:00

Since we had spring like weather this week, my roommates and I decided that we should just pretend its summer. So we had a fire in the backyard fire pit and roasted some marshmallows while I smoked my pipe. Both our neighbors came out and were actually quite jealous, not scared. Meg does like her mallows on fire, and Brett just likes to play with fire! It was a fun night. By the way, no comment on the Seahawks game.

Back to school...

2008-01-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

and I think I forgot about my New Year's resolution already.

My resolution: to have a social life.

The last 24 hours: about 4 hours of sleep, and about 37 minutes spent outside of my apartment/my classroom. 7 of those walking to and from work. The other 30 spent going on a run. Not part of my resolution...so, take that you over-eager-Resolutioners! (Side note: I only went running because it was 69 degrees outside in frickin' January. I hear you West Coasters are loving the snow! It'll be 72 tomorrow.)

Good start to the new year! I have to admit that the only reason I'm still awake, is because I'm sad that my lesson planning so quickly re-claimed my life. So, I rebelled and watched the BCS Championship (let me be the first blogger to congratulate LSU...except for those of you who knew it was going to happen the moment the match was set), and now that I'm bored of that game, its time for the return of Stewart/Colbert (sadly, no beards).

And as I start to doze (not really, my sleep is still screwed up from staying up late on PST), I figured I could at least wish for you all to have a snow day. Or maybe there will be some brilliant students, who take it upon themselves. In any event, I bet this guy is sleeping better than I am tonight. There you have it...I think I ripped off enough other stuff to make for a pretty lame post! Thanks for still reading this...

The Spirit of Christmas Past

2008-01-02T18:54:00.000-05:00

So, as I'm sitting here wishing that winter break was a month, I'm also trying to figure out some way to comment on all the things I did over the last two weeks: seeing my family, seeing friends for the first time in months, sleeping on couches and sharing beds (sorry, no picture of me spooning with my brother). In general, I felt I couldn't have spent my time any better (except for having about 24 more hours in each place I went to see more awesome people).

So, first I would like to apologize to the people I told I would see, and then never did....I feel like such a jerk. Then, I'd like to thank the people who drove me around the Northwest: Mom, Dad, Keija and Northwest Bus Lines. All this driving around, sleeping in different places most nights, and then seeing my good friends Katie and Doss (congrats on getting engaged...actually Doss and Katie are engaged to completely different people, and happened at completely different times...anyways!) it made me think of a time 365 days in the past...in a little place I like to call, Chile.

Last January ('07), I got to take an amazing trip to teach English with a few friends of mine, and I thought about it a lot when I saw a few of them, and then more when I was riding on a stinky bus to nowhere, and then even more when I was celebrating New Years somewhere other than on an airplane. But most of all it just made me think of happy times.

So, Christmas was great. New Years was great. And if I ended up seeing you in the Northwest, that was great too. I enjoyed seeing familiar faces, and just being able live life outside of the "Mr. Milliron" realm. I will have to savor that fun for now, because I have to go back to work in the morning, but I am pretty excited to see my students again. But if I start to day dream in class, it will probably be about playing with Hank and Rudy (Hank is my nephew--the yellow lab--because my sister will never have kids, and Rudy--the black lab--is the child that my dad loves more than me)...alright, honestly I won't have time for day dreaming, because I'm completely unprepared for school in the morning. Good news: My sleep patterns are completely messed up! Alright, wish me luck tomorrow...

A million ways to get to Seattle

2007-12-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

And I chose the Greyhound that drives through Wenatchee. Oh boy! So, I've slept and listened to music (oh Apple you've saved me again) I can't imagine anything more exciting than a 4 hour trip turned 9, because I wanted to stay in Spokane another day. But it was worth it, and now I have a smaller list of folks I haven't seen in too too long. Spokane/Coeur d'Alene was just like I left it, minus a few friends I have to travel elsewhere to visit. Unfortunately I have to travel cramped next to a new passenger who got on at this lovely central Washington oasis. Good news, he brought his own BO so I don't have to share. Lunch break over, we're back on the road. And for those of you trying to stalk me via satellite, we just drove past the Washington Apple Visitors Center in N. Wenatchee. I'll be in Seattle in no time. Remind me to write about something that I've actually enjoyed on this trip..

I made it in case you were wondering

2007-12-26T13:48:00.000-05:00

And I even got a white Christmas, as you can see from the picture. I spent a few days with mom, and overeating a bit too. So, now I have my gifts packed up and I'm headed to Spokane to find a few friends I haven't seen in too long. Bend is always a great place to visit, especially when good friends invite you over for a Prime Rib Christmas Dinner. Following tradition, we saw a movie on Christmas (a tradition I'm convinced my family started, and now has become a blockbuster release day, your welcome America). I think the general plan for the next week is to watch bowl games, play Guitar Hero and sleep on people's couches for a small beer tax. Its strange being taxied around again like I'm on a 4th grade soccer team...and mom brought snacks too! Alright I'll try to post something more interesting about my return to the Graveyard...and I'll explain what that means so you don't think I'm a
freak. Hope you all had a great Christmas!

Are we there yet?

2007-12-22T20:52:00.001-05:00

...says the little girl running circles around the boarding podium. No little girl, you'll never get anywhere running in circles...and Santa probably won't be able to find your if we get stuck here through Christmas. I'm not that mean...but I have enjoyed making funny faces at all the babies in the airport and on the plane. I have a theory: there is a correlation between screaming babies and holiday travel. I think its because from birth we know that holiday travel is unnatural. Anyway, I meant to update my flight status not theorize...but hey, its my blog! Officially we're supposed to be only 30 minutes behind, but that was an hour ago. So its 7:30 and we might leave soon. Which is better than the guy I overheard on his cell phone say he's been in Chicago for 10 hours. Merry Christmas sir, I hope u get a Hummer for Christmas! Alright doors are closing. I hope this sends before they
throw me off the plane for being a terrorist...just kidding in case the government reads this.

2007-12-22T13:58:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting in an airport bar watching a pretty good basketball game. Unfortunately, I'm still going to miss my brother coach his game, but I'll try to make it up to him by buying him gifts. I'm doing a little people watching too, and holy crap people are stressed out over the holidays! I don't know what they could possibly worry about, school is on break for two weeks. I'm not even worried about the fog delays in Chicago, only the chance of missing out on more basketball when I get on the plane. Alright food is here. I'm hoping people don't mind getting lots of random phone calls to hangout. That will start as soon as I get across the country...stay tuned!

"Welcome to the DC streets"

2007-12-20T21:42:00.001-05:00

That's what the lady at the DMV told me when she handed over my new DC plates and a parking sticker on Tuesday. She said it straight-faced like it was almost a warning. If I wasn't feeling so dumb that it took me 4 months to register my car, I might have felt intimidated. But I'm just glad I don't have to hide my car from the cops in our garage. After a quick trip to a different DMV office, I now have a more favorable view of government services and no need to go back for a good long while. So now that my car can sit on the street safe from the police, we'll see if it can survive the streets of DC. That's my house in the background (the red brick right behind the tree) and actually my neighborhood is pretty safe. The only worry on my mind now, is making it through one more day of teaching so that I can fly home for the holidays on Saturday! We had a fun Christmas assembly today...yes Christmas not Holiday, we even sang religious carols...strange. More on how awesomely strange my school is later (including fashion show, step team, drumline and oh yeah...breaking up more fights) for tomorrow the students should be fine and I might even let them have fun!

My wish this Christmas...

2007-12-16T15:49:00.000-05:00

...is to have a better excuse for not blogging. I don't want to forget to blog, so I don't know I'm wishing for excuses...why do people make wishes for Christmas anyway? I don't know, but if I wind up getting a few, I'll probably blow it on stupid things that no one needs. (Seriously though, I need a toaster...why not a transparent toaster).

In all seriousness, I do hope that when I come back to the Great Northwest next weekend, that I can enjoy two weeks that are just as relaxing as last weekend! I spent two days in California, MD (link goes to correct state if you can't figure it out), and felt like the guest of honor for people I'd never met. Imagine your cool Aunt & Uncle (or maybe your friends "cool" parents, if you have crazy relatives), then imagine that the couple opened up a B&B you could never afford similar to the "all-inclusive Sandals Jamaica" except in Southern Maryland.

The short-story version: we ate, we drank, we were merry, and then we slept! And by we, I mean my sister and brother-in-law, who are always good company in addition to our lovely hosts Mike and Debi. But as I said, I'll be back on the Westside in less than a week, and I hope its at least somewhere close to that relaxing. I'll be driving all over, to see as many people as I can...so let me know where you will be and I'll try to come see you too! For now, I'm still trying to push through one more FULL week of school, and pretend I'm not still relaxing from last weekend. If we do get Christmas wishes...make sure to wish that I make it through the week, and to see my family...and world peace too!

Getting into the holiday spirit!

2007-12-02T00:08:00.001-05:00

So, my roommates and I have been talking about getting a Christmas tree for a while now, and we were all pretty excited to start the holiday...and I'm most excited to start a holiday vacation! As city lights are going up, people are killing each other for the newest tickle-me-furby, and radio programming is transitioning to 24-hour holiday Delilah, the new addition at our local outdoor market is the Christmas tree guys from West Virginia. So, we planned for this friday to be our big night. The key to understanding the post would be, the red-head is Brett, and the girl is Meg. Both my roommates, neither of which am I dating (but they are dating each other!)

We bought the tree we liked the best. (Sorry, you'll have to turn your head...sometimes the internet is dumb)

Then we walked it home (yes walked...only about 6 blocks in the cold.) Not quite the "cut it yourself and walk through the woods" holiday experience, but we tried.

When we finally got home, we turned up the Christmas tunes to 11 and started decorating.

I figured I'll save money on a Christmas card this year. I hope you enjoy this one (a classic pose, and a family favorite) Merry Christmas:

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-27T18:19:00.000-05:00

I know. That was last week, but give me a break...I'm still mad that the vacation didn't last a whole month! I can't complain, because I have the best 9-month-out-of-the-year job, in the world! Sometimes, I feel like I'm trained well for something in the security profession though.

Anyways, I would have written more this weekend, but I got to play tour guide for another visitor (and this one cooked for me and bought me presents...keep that in mind if any of you want to visit...just kidding!) No one cooks like a mom, and my mom even flew across the country to cook for me. Its a good feeling to be gluttonous and lazy every once in a while...if only that could be my profession. I feel like my tour guide skills are improving and I tried to fight my laziness, with my mom waking me up early on my vacation, but I understand its a waste of daylight when you're in a city with so many things to see.

We made it to several pretty cool places, and a few new activities I had not done, like seeing a few memorials at night that make things kinda eerie and somber (until tourist-teenagers come screaming up the Lincoln steps with their cell phone cameras flipping around!) We went to the National Cathedral, and I even got my mom to ride the Metro without getting lost or mugged (just kidding...you'll only get jumped in the hallways of my school!) Mom even made her way to my school to distract my students from working and telling them embarrassing stories about her son (thanks again for that...a mother's favorite past-time!) I think the half attempted Thanksgiving traditions even made it, with a sappy movie and a delicious pumpkin pie, and the oddities made it good too. With a roommate and the music teacher from our school to round out the Thanksgiving dinner party, it turned out to be a great holiday, and a great weekend.

I keep forgetting that I need to have a social life, and when people come to visit, that helps to remind me. So, thanks mom! And, I'll be on the west coast again in a few weeks for the next much-needed break from grading papers...speaking of playing catch up...I hear coffee calling my name. Look for posts coming soon about: little known DC facts, dramatic accounts of Mr. Milliron's teaching adventures, and another family visit! Thanks for reading to the end...and now for the payoff!

Don't call it a comeback!

2007-11-13T20:00:00.000-05:00

But after a month with nothing, I'm probably shocking your system with too many posts. This time with 37% more pictures, 26% less boring stories (no promises) and the whole thing is biodegradable (still not approved by the FDA).

So, I should start with a brief background of my hostess for the weekend: In short, we took baths together when we were little...and in terms of gossip blog spin-control...we aren't dating. (Beth, does that about sum it up? ) Actually Beth is one of my oldest friends, and mostly by default because our parents are friends. But, now without adult supervision, we had our own fun, and I even made a few new friends (her roommate and friends who hangout, but don't pay rent). So, here's to a great weekend:

I got in late Friday night, and met her friends (all surprisingly from the great state of Tennessee, which makes them automatically a joy to be around). We were fast friends, but in the morning, Beth and I were quick to ditch them for what would turn out to be several train/subway rides. After winding our way up to the Bronx, we dropped our stuff off at the LV house, where Beth had made some friends over the past year while she was volunteering in the not-so-distant state of Rhode Island.

Then, what better way to see one of the largest cities in the US (largest by population) than by foot. So, we got off on the wrong side of Central Park (walked it, and even had a not-so-celebrity siting...but at least I know his name now...you've been googled!), then changed our minds about 20 times on what to do next (walked some more, as it got colder) saw a few more sweet things along the way to dinner, and then to the John Butler Trio concert! Let me directly quote the repeated phrase Beth used to describe the concert: "Freakin' Awesome!" Ditto (and not only because she said it 50 times) it was awesome! He is a ridiculous guitar player, and probably has the most talented/entertaining drummer and bassist I've seen (sorry Keith Urban not really in the band). They definitely rivaled DMB and BHIC for live shows! Anyways, check out those links.

The rest of the night we enjoyed the high...no, we weren't high, but plenty of the concert-goers were...so, let's say the drug-free excitement we picked up from the concert was great. So, we tracked down Beth's friends somewhere near Times Square. While we traversed NYC above and below ground, I saw Broadway (someone turned out the lights), Birdland, homeless guys spooning, little kids awake at 2 am, subway/street performers, all before a subway ride back to the Bronx at a decent hour for the city that never sleeps (you think I'm going to admit the time?...my mom's probably already had a stroke that I SLEPT in the Bronx...I'll spare a few details!)

So, I'll let pictures tell the rest. The next morning we had a few fun stops before we went back to Long Island, where Beth lives. Times Square again, the Top of the Rock, and McSorely's (did I mention I want to be Irish and hangout withe guys every day?) Sorry, it seems like I wrote a lot...so I'll go hideout for a few more weeks and let you catch up reading (and I'll catch up on lesson planning!) Not to mention my mom's coming for Thanksgiving...might need to pick up the place! Thanks for all your comments, and thanks again to Beth for being a great hostess...and avoiding the tour guide Barbie stuff! What a great weekend!

Whaddaya mean I can't pump it myself?

2007-11-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

So right after my last two part message, I pulled up to get gas. I forgot my friend told me once that Oregon and Jersey were the only lame states to make pumping your own petroleum prohibited. It was an interesting experience to have on the east coast, but so was seeing all of New York City from the top of Rockefeller! Another pointless story brought to you by Jake...who else!

No sex. No drugs. No rock & roll.

2007-11-12T14:50:00.000-05:00

Part 1 of 2...

Okay maybe not all three...

2007-11-12T14:47:00.001-05:00

Although most parents said "don't do anything I wouldn't do" or "be home by midnight", my dad would usually forbid me of those three evils before going to see friends. And though I'm sure my family was more afraid of me being mugged this weekend I stuck to the rules as best as I could. No sex, little to no drugs and a sweet concert that rocked my face off! The John Butler Trio is somewhere within those bright lights and that was one of many highlights from NYC. The lowlights include sleeping on couches and driving back through New Jersey. But as soon as I make it back home and can upload some more pictures and links i'll share more about the weekend! Alright, more gas, more driving.

I've been magically whisked away to...

2007-11-09T20:04:00.000-05:00

...Delaware and I thought I'd share thoughts from the road. Little known fact. Buckling up is the law, Delaware is the First State, and they charge you part of your manhood for gas now. Since when did they raise gas prices a million dollars? I'm so glad I walk to work. Anyway, why are you in Delaware Jake? Thanks for asking. I'm in need of a mental vacation and I have a friend who lives in New York. So i'm off for a 3 day weekend and I'm going to live it up a bit. I'll try to post a few pictures of fun from around NYC! Oh and i'm trying to forget that i got cussed out by a student for failing him today...i'll try to forget about that this weekend. Hopefully he will too. Have a great weekend i know i will!

No my writers didn't go on strike...

2007-11-07T01:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess doing too much at the same time has finally caught up with me! Thanks for your worried posts, and to answer the burning question: I didn't get locked in the closet by my students. Though on some days, I'm sure they'd learn just as much if I was teaching from another room. Alright, I will save depressing school stories for another post when I had a better day (hopefully not a month from now), but for now a few things you've missed, like: visitors in DC, my visit to Seattle, and oh yeah...I had a birthday too!

Alright, I'll go first...I turned old. Not exactly old, but hanging out with immature adolescents who truly believe they are grown adults makes you feel old. My birthday (which is now becoming chronologically distant in my story-telling) was great, and I have a few more places to add on my "I'll take you there if you come to visit" list. In short, I didn't get to have my mom's famous birthday cake...but my roommates pulled through with a cake, some kids and teachers at school even gave me cards and a present, and I think I missed about 20 phone calls and text messages that night because my phone died! By the way, its ok if you didn't remember my birthday...because its too late now!

Then, the next week I had my first visitor! My friend Amanda from college came to town for a conference (so not actually someone intentionally visiting me) and I had my first shot at showing someone my new hometown. Though it was great to see her and hangout with someone who I've known for longer than 2 months, I'm still perfecting my local skills. I think I faked it pretty well, by only pointing out things that I know. The problem in DC is that every building is something, and it looks as such. Seriously. The department of this, the museum of that, and the District of Columbia something. So, if you come to visit...I'll point to my school, my house...and after that its, BYOTB (tour book)...I'll supply the boo-yah!

Then, the last installment of things I never mentioned: My West Coast Return! Okay, not return...just a visit. Some of you had the pleasure of seeing me in Seattle, and I even had the opportunity to stalk some of my friends and visit them last minute. The purpose of my visit was because my dad had a birthday at the end of October, and part of the present was that my genius sister got tickets to Spamalot! That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And even though the trip was long (by plane this time!), and the time was short, I still loved being back in the Northwest to see friends and family.

I know what you're thinking... "but you didn't come to my house when you visited" (in a whiny voice just like my students after I give them homework). And that may be true for some...but Santa won't be visiting their houses this year either. I'm only kidding of course, and I will hopefully let you know more about when I'm back in the greater NW during Holiday Break (call it Christmas Break...I dare you...public school teachers are so insensitive!) Alright, now I'm remembering why I don't post very often...cause I'm so long winded and now I need to grade 50 tests before bed! Goodnight...and in case you wondered...yes, I celebrate the birth of Jesus and exploitation of merchandising opportunities.

I'm Columian...

2007-10-14T10:53:00.000-04:00

...or maybe a District-ite, Districter, DCer...forget it. But, I do have proof:

And the best part is, that I was able to effectively waste an entire Saturday. One of the many government agencies in this city that locals claim are "inefficient" and "inconvenient". I'm starting to think that the only thing people like around here is the Metro. Most of my experience driving in this city has been painful and annoying, so the only motivation to get a driver's license was to prevent idiots from checking my ID and saying: "Hey, you might want to get that renewed...it's gonna expire soon." Yeah, thanks. I heard that one already...what, no "Hey, you're birthday is coming up!"

Because my impending license expiration was an annoyance, I endured nearly 4 hours of boredom and waiting. Most of that was in lines similar to this picture on the left (which is outside the building, wrapping around to the dumpster out back...that line took 45 minutes). Once, inside I found out that I hadn't brought enough information so I had to drive back home (45 minutes roundtrip) wait in another 20 minute line, just to get a number and wait in the waiting room (for about 30 mintues). This picture on the right shows only half the room that could probably contain about 150 grumpy DC-ians at a time. I saw most Districtators reading, some with PSPs and iPods...I caught up on some grading. Once out of the tension filled room I noticed people starting to smile. Then it came clear to me: after the unhappy government employees process your paperwork, take your money and DESTROY your old ID, they send you to have your new ID picture taken. After another 20 minutes in line, the guy says: "Please stand in the blue box, look at the yellow dot, and smile for your picture." And that is why people are smiling, because they finally get to smile and leave!

I'm smiling too, but for a minute I realized that I was waiting and waiting for that little piece of plastic that confirms I have officially moved, 2801 miles away! I know that may make a few of you sad to hear that, and it makes me a little sad too, but this adventure still hasn't lost its excitement.

I continually stumble around and find new things, like Ebenezer's, which is DC's version of the Service Station. They have a "Coffee with a Cause" slogan, and are owned by a local church. Its a very big-city version of this church connection it seems...but small world moment: Brandon Heath played here last week. I love Brandon Heath (YL camp musician), but I found out too late about the concert. I need to stumble around with more convenient timing. Anyways, that's probably enough about my weekend, and I've spent too much time here this weekend (stupid Verizon, giving us internet trouble and won't fix it...that's another story that involves my roommate yelling at the Verizon 24-hour help guy!). Enjoy your Sunday!

To quote a student:

2007-10-09T22:59:00.000-04:00

"But Mr. M, yo' momma's not a big black lady!" How right you are young man. That is generally the response you get when you tell a student you are calling home. Though my intentions for Parent/Teacher Conferences are not to get any kids in trouble, I imagine there are some students who heard it from momma.

This afternoon/evening and I had a series of unscheduled, improvised conversations with individual parents. I mentioned to a few that their child had problems turning in work, or I had to give him/her instructions no less than 11 times per activity per day, or my favorite: your student believes paper is for throwing/eating/spitting/flicking/plucking/inappropriate- note-passing and not school work. In most cases, the response was something to the effect of: "Oh no s/he di'int!" (that's not stereotyping...it's generalizing, and that still really happened!) I am glad to know that I have a few parents on my side, but I'm still waiting for a student's mother to come into my classroom and come at me for something. Trust me, I've heard some stories.

In a completely un-related story taking place no where near I live, [Ironic] You live in Medford? Come on lady!

Alright, in all seriousness, I feel very safe at my job and I will stop kidding about this for those of you who don't think its funny (Mom). But I get that comment from a lot of people, and usually find it ridiculous because if I can't feel safe talking about math with uninterested 12-year-olds then the terrorists have won.

And because I'd love nothing better than to be a crazy old math teacher some day, I decided to do something completely unrelated this weekend in DC. I saw Raul Midon in concert last night, and temporarily doubted my life choices, which could have been aspiring to do this. (Sorry I had to use Leno...I heard him first on Letterman a while back) Alright, I'll never be able to do that, and I have my sense of sight...oh well, teaching math it is! I hope I gave you enough links/videos to watch and be entertained because nothing really exciting happened at conferences like I thought.

The day I've been waiting for...

2007-10-05T17:53:00.000-04:00

Alright, any pre-3-day-weekend day is a day I'm looking forward to (or day to which I look forward...for the English teacher). But today was especially strange, being that I didn't teach the first two periods of the day. All students were held in the auditorium because of an incident that happened yesterday after school. Lets just say...these kids think they are tough...then they had an assembly to threaten them with being arrested for being stupid (Yes, you can be arrested for that!) and getting into fights.

However, the good part of not teaching 2 periods, is that you have one heck of a planning period, in which secretaries and aides come into your room and help you "decorate" your room so that it is up to "standard". Alright, I'm just a little bitter that as a teacher, I am required to have certain things (standards, data and other glorified decorations) posted in my room to somehow highlight my teaching, just to be ignored and unused by my students. And truth-be-told no amount of "decor" will detract from the eye sore in my room in the form of 3 10-year-old computers...talk to me when you take out the trash!

Alright, I'll stop whining...just one more thing: DC doesn't know when Oktoberfest weekend actually is celebrated. But, at least I have roommates to celebrate late with. Alright, I haven't posted in a while...and then I just complained. How about this: I'll let you know next week how my first Parent/Teacher Conferences go! I've been told that I have nothing to look forward to...unless a parent wants to chew me out. Stay tuned!

DC's Finest

2007-10-01T00:29:00.000-04:00

If you felt like I have been MIA it might be because I had a pretty crappy week at school and talking about it didn't change that. So I sat around this weekend trying to figure out ways to make my job easier and decide on the best way to deal with some classroom issues...because they don't like it when you solve problems by beating students. So in between those times I watched a few football games. One of which was live...and may not be what you're thinking of football. I went to a Major League Soccer game! DC United makes the Nationals look like the ugly step child of DC pro sports. The title of this entry refers not only to the relative status of the team in its league ability, but also to the rowdy group of folks in the picture. The Barra Brava fan club gets pretty crazy and celebrates goals by screaming loudly and throwing beer on each other! The whole game was fun to watch even
though I didn't get a beer shower I didn't chant along!

Tell me something I don't know

2007-09-19T18:00:00.000-04:00

This article about wasting time in traffic isn't really worth reading, but I scrolled to the bottom and noticed that my former home, the fair city of Spokane is the LEAST congested metropolitan city IN THE COUNTRY! Congratulations! (Wait...did you say Spokane was a metropolitan city? Alright, I'll allow it.)

In my infinite nerdiness (as a self-admitted geek), I googled the original report so that I could look at the actual data. The facts of interest from the study was that Spokanites waste the least amount of time waiting in traffic delays, and have the 3rd lowest gas wasting population in the study. After reflecting on the level of complaints of road conditions/traffic problems I witnessed when I was resident of Spokane, I realized that no matter where you live residents will invariably whine about transportation. I'm going to ruin the surprise, but not every state can have the orange road cone as its state tree, or believe that the 4 seasons are fall, winter, spring and construction (end rant).

The flip side of the news, is that now I've moved to the 2nd-worst-traffic-delayed-5th-most-gas-wasteful city in the nation! This was an ironic discovery, because I was reading the article on CarFreeDC Day and I had also pledged to not drive my car all week (even though I walk anyways, and have a tourists knowledge of the Metro). I am quite sure that my good deed can be traded in for a carbon-offset, or indulgences from the pope. More likely, is that now they have my name and I'm going to be called to sign global warming petitions or donate my organs to those less fortunate (end rant...tw0).

If you can't already tell, this was rather amusing to me, thanks for listening. From Spokane to DC. Its a small world.

Just thinking out loud...

2007-09-17T14:44:00.000-04:00

Or actually using the web to think. But if you need my new email or address to contact me, just use the last email address you have. I am checking all my emails right now, and i'll try to consolidate soon. And that way i don't have to post all my personal information on the internet.

Whats that in the distance?

2007-09-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

A giant tower with little people running under its shade after a stupid flying piece of plastic.

What do I do with my life you ask?

2007-09-16T11:20:00.000-04:00

I truly couldn't answer that question even if I knew. I am half way through the weekend, and I still need to spend two weekends worth of work getting caught up on lesson planning! I told someone I need 8 days in a week the other day to have a real life, but I managed to have a little fun yesterday!

If you can't tell by the picture posted above...that is the Washington Monument...and people playing ultimate frisbee. I'm sure my friends from Whitworth would either be proud (more likely indifferent) that I found a frisbee team! (Or that John found me to play on his team). But when he gave me directions, I forgot that was just south of the White House too. Needless to say, pretty good view to the north and south while playing. Though there are more important things in life, we did win the game, and they may even pretend like they want me to come back. They were fun to play with...it was jut fun to run around in the sun.

Who's John you say? Well, I won't give you the whole back story on meeting John...but suffice it to say he's excited I play ultimate and am a math teacher. Apparently he wants me on their team because I'm young (little does he know that I'm not good) and he also wants me to tutor his daughter in math. So, he took me out to dinner Friday night with his family so I could meet his daughter (4th grade) and wife and son (6 years old). It was fun to meet them, and I will officially have taught all 3 school levels math by the end of this (my first) year of teaching. So then he says: "what are you doing tomorrow at 2pm?"...of course my answer is: "I have no life"...such a lie...but I can't pass up fun like that.

I also spent money I don't have at Target, and watched stupid television on my DVR. Those things were not on the original agenda...I just got bored and lazy. So, its Sunday morning and I've been walking around the market for a little while, now I'm having coffee with some interweb and fresh air a la carte. There is this cool gospel group performing on the street corner that I'm listening to also (did I mention I live in a cool neighborhood!) Alright, I should go back to work...I mean home. And before you know it...it will be bed time again!

Can't a guy just come home and blog in the comfort of his lone piece of IKEA furniture?

2007-09-12T22:28:00.001-04:00

I promise i'll stop posting about fights when they happen, but today was a bad day so it kinda figures two kids were beating each other outside my class to add to it. I'm told we get internet tomorrow. Just in time to report on Parent Night! I can't wait...i think. This is going to be a rough week.

Things i've learned about being a different kind of Washingtonian...

2007-09-06T22:47:00.000-04:00

On a lighter note: No fights today. But thought i'd share some interesting big city stuff and if anyone can link to facts that would be preferable...because i'm posting this as a text message...and we all know how truthful blogs can be! So this picture is of the trailer park where Russel Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio are filming "Body of Lies" and it also happens to be our playground! It was only for a day and they did blow up a car on the street in my favorite neighborhood market...which i will take you to if you come to visit. I'm sure the movie will be terrible but there is also a scene shot in our gym! No lies...we are making money off hollywood! And the other dumb thing i learned was that now that my roommates are back in session with congress...the light is on at the top of the capitol. I know...stupid stuff a local should know. I'll know it all in due time...everything except how
politics works that is! I'll be in the loop eventually! Enjoy the picture taken through my window!

Day 7...Fight 2

2007-09-05T20:05:00.001-04:00

I'm a little bit more distressed by the fight today, but i'll be honest: it doesn't get easier. Today's incident happened before 6th period instead of while i was teaching but now i have 4 boys in that same class who have beef with each other and two of them have made each other bleed. I'm not sure what the administration thinks of me but they sure won't tell me...and i guarantee they don't have new teacher training for this. I wish i could get these kids figured out before they come back in my class because we might have some math happening soon. It is interesting the advice i get from some teachers about covering my a%Â§ and as helpful as that is...i'm not the one who needs help. I have no desire to be a counselor but i am feeling a little out of the loop from admin and that is sad. I'm glad today is over and we have things to look forward to tomorrow but if i go 4 for 4 on breaking
up fights this week i may just have to beef up and watch some more pro wrestling shows.

Days of school - 6, Fights - 1, Kids suspended - 2, Actually teaching math - Priceless

2007-09-04T16:42:00.000-04:00

Cold-cocked. Messed up. Owned (Pwned). Straight jacked in the jaw. The business end of a rabbit punching.

And tell Mr. White what he's won: that's right...get out of my class!

I thought I was just putting off the talkative kids at first. Now I realize, that when students complain about others "clownin' on me" that means: if you don't listen to me I'm going to make they other guy look like a clown with a big red nose and black eye (alright, if you want the real definition, try the link to UrbanDictionary.com for one of many entries in my blog!)

So, I was pretty surprised I made it through a week without it, but for now...I'm glad the swing wasn't taken at me. I pulled the guys off each other pretty quick, but I'm serious about the rabbit punches...he got a few quick ones in and then the chairs went over. I had pretty good attention of that class for the first time in a week. I threw one kid out to security and then had the rest of them: "This is a good example of how NOT to act in Mr. Milliron's class...are we clear?"...I love having that attention (minus the fight part)!

So, I'm at an establishment down the street that provides internet and refreshments. As for the rest of the day, I'll head home to my house (that is internet-less) and couch/chair-less (I don't know which luxury I would like more?) but I am setting up my place pretty successfully. Well, at least I have a microwave. I'll upload some pictures here in a while also. We'll make the roommate purchasing trip to IKEA next weekend (I'll be sure to let you know what HELL is like) and I hope that I can keep a steady stream of teacher stories coming for you! Thanks for listening...err...reading.

Attn: I am No Longer Homeless!

2007-08-31T22:10:00.001-04:00

So this should be the last time i have to pack my life into a car...and in case that is true i'm documenting it and enjoying the trip across town. I looked at the place for the first time and i have to say it is pretty sweet. After a weekend of unpacking i'll try and send a few more pictures to the blog so i can show it off. Maybe a pic of the roommates too. Alright, unpack until i crash and then i might have to go out to find college football tomorrow...i guess that means goodnight. Now that i am an official hard-working-salary-receiving-law-abiding-union-member teacher, i think its appropriate to wish u a happy Labor Day also!

At least I figured out one thing

2007-08-29T21:38:00.000-04:00

And that is, the guy I'm living with reminds me of John Candy (as if he had a few mannerisms of Milton from Office Space...and if you don't know Milton, then it loses the ridiculous opposite nature of these two characters) Anyways, this guy has lived in DC a while and is pretty proud to talk about his city, and has great ideas and interesting insight to what's happening (oh did I mention he's volunteering on the local Obama campaign). Pretty funny guy to be staying with, and just an interesting guy to have met. Alright, glad I finally figured that out...

Because I have an entirely new homeroom! Yes, that's right. Day 3, and they've already flipped the script on everyone (well at least most of it). To sum up: there was an easy way and a hard way to make sure that kids were equally distributed in the right homeroom...they chose the hard way! Instead of just changing kids schedules to match where they already were and do minimal shifting, they decided to take every kid out of class and physically move them where they should be...can we say: "Day ruined"? Everybody now! I enjoy chaos as much as the next guy, and though I have done minimal complaining, it is nice to know that teachers feel crazed by this process too. And some of the kids who got plucked from my homeroom (all of them) were sad to be leaving my class after only 3 days...and I forcibly bored them! I guess the bright side is, that I will know the entire 7th grade by the end of next week!

Alright, just thought I'd give you the inside scoop. I'm hoping that someone learns math in my class in the near future, but I may have to force the issue. I am getting worn out earlier and earlier...by the time I move in with my roommates on Friday, I'll be the resident senior citizen who eats dinner at the Chuck-o-Rama Buffet at 4pm and goes to bed before first edition of Sportscenter (remember...3 hours difference). Alright, I thought this would be short...but I type fast....I'll work on that!

Some Things I Appreciate

2007-08-27T23:03:00.000-04:00

First days of school: actually I think I was only ever into the FIRST first day of school, and after that saw through all the glamour and into the nothingness-waste-of-time that it was in my education.

Children: because as my brother reminded me...that's why I'm doing this...and they are our future. (Actually meaning my brother is pathetically sarcastic, and I think middle schoolers are hilarious and might just be the only sanity I have in an over-politiked world I am experiencing here...unless of course they riot on me...then I'll let security carry them out)...and on that note...

Kids who can go to the bathroom by themselves: and the adults who let them...this film has not yet been rated, because the release date will be NEVER and I'm sure there would be inappropriate poop-footage.

People who make me breakfast: even if it is just ordered from across the street bakery serving delicious fattening pastries in our teacher's lounge! (Oh, and Mom's dutch babies too...yes I eat babies!)

Rain: none of this surprise torrential downpour stuff...I like the "mopey-emo-misty crap" that everyone says we have on the west coast

Free stuff: like the second air mattress that I've slept on in as many weeks, culminating in the longest period in my life I've ever been a freeloading, drain on the economy (just get a hotel room already).

Performance enhancing drugs: that don't make me feel bad getting up 7 extra minutes early to find a fix for the first day of school!

I'm sorry it wasn't more in depth than that, but I thought after a crazy day of having my class-size flux from 19 to 37 in lesss than an hour...there might just be something better in my life. I went to school, had a meeting, met some students, gave them some rules (Mr. Milliron's Non-Negotiables....how's that for a big word...they're in 7th grade remember), and I think after I sufficiently bored them to death, then the day ended and I fell over! I'm exhausted and I feel like I did nothing. So, tomorrow's game plan: Do Math!

School starts when?

2007-08-26T17:16:00.000-04:00

Oh...tomorrow...no problem. I think I'm as ready as I will ever be. I also think that this weekend has been hectic enough that I should tell y'all about it. You might enjoy it, you might not, but its all been back dated so read below if you are interested. Otherwise, wait until tomorrow night, and I'll let you know how the first day of school goes.

So many song title jokes...but only one blog entry!

2007-08-25T18:07:00.000-04:00

As I was sitting alone on a Saturday afternoon...all by myself (in case you didn't get the context) I decided the only way to figure out how to survive in DC was to make sure that I knew where the local Costco and REI are located (maybe I should own a gun too...but I'm talking BASIC survival!) So, I googled it (which should be a verb in the dictionary) and found out there were both quite near to each other...IN VIRGINIA!!! Holy crap I have to travel across state lines...oh yeah, DC is only ... this big on a map and it was all still within the Beltway (yeah...I know local talk). But I found it anyways, and found some essentials and a little entertainment after a long week of doing teacher stuff (needless to say...I needed this break).

Unfortunately I still got lost and eventually caught in torrential thunder and lightning (that I'm sure caused the power out at the White House...good thing he's on vacation!) After a rainy day I decided I needed a good beer. Thusly, I found my new East Coast Mecca/Watering Hole (is that sac religious to say that?) Its not within walking distance, so it can't be my watering hole, but I think you understand the importance of this discovery!

I was feeling expeditious after this discovery, and decided to walk a few blocks more to a huge mall near the Verizon Center (home of the Washington Wizards) and catch a movie...because I can't hear enough about SuperBad. So, after about an hour of laughing my pants off in that movie...there is a scene where cops are drinking and having a shooting contest with a minor until they are startled by a police siren. At that exact comedic moment...the FIRE alarm in the building goes off. A few people in the theater are laughing still until they realize its a real alarm and not the movie. So, we exit the building like a heard of cattle out into an alley and the pouring rain! Pretty excited about that, but I got a free ticket to go see it again and made it back in time to meet Howard's interesting friends!

I would've posted a bit about this morning's trip to IKEA with the new roommates, but I think there is enough material for a stand-up comedy act about how RIDICULOUS IKEA is...I hate that place. But sometimes you have to make sacrifices for roommates. We all thought it was pretty painful, but we may also have to go back to get items once we actually move it...in the meantime I'll try and teach them the beauty of the internet and home delivery!

I hope you all are doing well, I miss you, and I hope I get a chance to call some of you soon (that I have been promising myself to call) but feel free to email and call anytime. I'm a working man now, and unlike some of you...that doesn't mean I can check my Facebook at work! I'll let you know how the first day goes, talk to you soon.

I may not have told you...

2007-08-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

...but I moved again! My nice friends Judith and Pawan, had a surprise visit from Pawan's mother. Then managed to put me up on their couch for two nights, while Judith and I attended
the "Back to School" event for all DCPS teachers at the Convention Center (I also got my bearings on the Metro system...I can't wait to stop driving my car!) So after they found out mom was coming, they had given me a heads up about a possible housing opening at a friends place.

Howard. That's his name, and he totally reminds me of a character from a movie, but I can't put my finger on it yet (I'll let you know when I figure it out!) So, I ended up calling Howard about the space. It turns out that another friend of Judith/Pawan/Howard was living there and is getting married, so has moved out his stuff and the place is VACANT until the 1st (no way...that's perfect for me!) and since Howard is the property manager (and also resident) for the landlord, he said it wasn't going to be a problem. He also mentioned that he was going to have a "Yard Sale" in the living room of this apartment, and that he and the other folks in the building would be having some friends over (a party) on Saturday night (None of that sounds like a problem for me seeing as it is this place or the street).

So, after being reassured by Judith, that Howard (though slightly odd) would be a totally nice/normal guy to live with for a week...I moved in Friday afternoon. He is probably the most unique person I've met since moving to DC, and I won't describe him until I can figure out the movie character connection (don't worry I'll be living with him all week). But the party was definitely another unique group of people (including a free-spirited, dazed-and-confused old man, who aspired to move to Eugene of all places...most likely to get into tree-hugging as a profession), and a man named John, who was very interested in how I was recruited by DC Schools and wanted to talk about recruitment and technology in schools (because he is in the tech business and wants to crossover to working for the school district). Needless to say, this was probably only an interesting conversation for the two of us...but just to prove there was a point to my story...he's going to give me an air mattress to sleep on this week! (I know...sweet story Jake!) Alright...but I'll break the other part of my day into another post!

The Thai Roma Experience...

2007-08-21T19:58:00.001-04:00

So, I have been craving thai food for a while. As i was walking this afternoon, I saw this "Thai Roma" place at a distance, and thought to myslef: "What do you think Jake? Thai or Italian?" Well, it turns out that when I went back for dinner, it was just Thai...but there is more than just the food that I want to tell you about. I sat down alone (as if I was waiting for a date...but now I'm sitting alone with my computer. Dead giveaway! Loser.)

Listening in on the loud Texan conversation across the room (yeah, they were that loud) I thought...I have to pee...and it couldn't hurt to leave the room for a second. I won't give you the play by play in the bathroom, but the gnats flying in my face give you a feel of the ambiance and feelings I was having. As if a sign from somewhere above the toilet, the words read: "Spending too much time in the bathroom?" Why yes I am (at least in this disgusting excuse for one) thanks for asking! And then situated next to the sign were pamphlets for a urinary infection pill (I don't know but you should ask your doctor if you are interested)...not punchline to the joke I was looking for, but I laughed anyways.

Back out in the dining portion of the restaurant, I was chuckling too myself over some average tasting thai food (that always comes so fast...which is good because chuckling by yourself in a corner is creepy!) Then, just before I thought this experience couldn't get any better...good ole' George dubbaya walked in and offered to buy me a drink and pay for my meal...

...now at this point of the entry, you may remember that Jake is the worst story teller you've ever met, and may need to lie to get out of a terrible ending to a story! So, in reality I saw a sign that said "free wifi at Thai Roma" and I thought of telling someone else this story!

Well, so this is not a complete waste of an entry, I thought I'd let you know that I am switching housing tonight...I'm such a freeloader! I called up the other lady who initially offered to bail me out, and I'm going to crash on her couch as soon as her husband is around to let me in! I'm sure he'll be glad some random fool is freeloading even though she (Judith) is very gracious about the whole thing. I didn't get kicked out of the other place, but I can't imagine anyone wants a stranger around for too long. Alright, I should probably settle up and stiff the guy on a tip (let me know if you think it is okay to decrease the tip according the waiter's understanding of your English...I mean...come on...this IS America!) Talk to you later,

Jake

p.s. I'm totally kidding about the tip!
p.s.s. I'm still a terrible person...