Ummm...How cool is that?!?

Don't ask questions, because my brain in summer mode is incapable of
teaching effectively (though I did give a little girl on the airplane
math help, as well as giving her a hard time for doing smart kid stuff
in the SUMMER)! However, like I have said before, I can't help being a
geek. So, enjoy the link, and tread lightly...your brain might explode
(especially if you click the 12,837,064 digit link)!

http://www.mersenne.org/

Sick Days

At a time when I am reminded "use it if you got it" while simultaneously hoping that certain lower-back-upper-hamstring pains would just take a sick day of their own...I come across the story of this local girl who never missed school, EVER! Some people need to relax. I then find out its no big deal, cause some other girl did it in Terra Haute, IN. But I did check the math 13 years x 180 day = 2,340 straight days (geek...me, not her).

I think to myself: "Self, is it worth making a big deal about staying in school?"

Self: "Its that, or let every kid aspire to be Kanye West!"

And we all know how that turned out....
But he lives to write about it, and I'd like to share a few quotes from the book published by a dropout:

I hate the word hate
Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react
My mom taught me to believe in my flyness and conquer my shyness

Mom, why couldn't I have learned flyness instead of piano? Or is that not a learned skill?

I guess you either dropout, or go ALL-out and become like the never-been-sick club, or the spelling bee kids. Learning to spell words like (screw you, spellcheck):

fackeltanz
sardoodledom
schizaffin
maecenas
isagoge
sophrosyne

The lesson for today kids: don't settle for mediocrity...go straight for public embarrassment!

Jury Duty

I know the implications of this post are not safe or ethical to admit publicly, but I'm so glad I have a civic obligation to possibly serve on a jury. I thought Memorial Day would help push me to the end of the year with a bit of good sister-visitation time, but apparently this stress isn't going to let up. Mandatory government day off, for the win.

The best part is, that missing tomorrow means, that there are only one and a half Mondays left in the school year (don't even get me started on the half-day-last-day on a Monday). And next Monday is Six Flags Episode Two: Revenge of the Phone Stealers. I just have to give them some horrible test and make sure that they retained some information from this year. Maybe I'll write them a ridiculous test while waiting for jury selections tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just blog (not tweet) and contemplate deleting my Facebook account. Wish me luck!

Established 1951

So, I guess that means it can't be my fault if neither of my parents were even alive. But for a math teacher who spent the ENTIRE day stressing, "use your units!", this is a distressing sign to see. I should probably start thinking in terms of "raising future city planners" or at least not visiting towns with 562 fools. I mean, getting my change back wrong at McDonald's is insult enough, but people+feet+years=I still have to take off my shoes to count.

Blogtherapy

I often breeze through blog feeds and education headlines to find something that eases the ridiculous moments, usually stopping to read if problems seem worse than the fun...I mean dysfunction...that I get in my district. However, I really enjoy bloggers after my own heart, who need a therapeutic release after the puberty-fueled chaos that is "a day in middle school."

So, after reading this post a few days ago, I think to myself: "Mr. Milliron, was there a reason you sat on a child today?"

Of course! I was brought up with rather logical consequences, and in my infinite wisdom (that may some day get me fired) I decided that if Michael couldn't sit down, then I would have to sit on him. I warned him of the consequences, and not 60 seconds later, he was bright enough to test the effectiveness of my threats. BAM! And y'all think I'm scrawny and boney...just wait 'til y'all get sat on!

Now, I'm sure the blogger's point is larger than threats, but I'm not ashamed that coercion is a part of my curriculum as it is defined:

the practice of compelling a person to behave in an involuntary way (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats, intimidation, or some other form of pressure or force.

Unfortunately, in Michael's case, he will never learn. But let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

As for me, I'll keep working on that infinite wisdom thing...

Feeling awkwardly appreciated...

An uncomfortable, fish-like handshake from students is almost enough
of a sign of appreciation. However, nothing compares to the forced
applause and obligatory "excellence" awards, for everyone, to cap off
the pee wee soccer feelings in this assembly. But at least my
principal didn't forget this year...oh yeah, and ice cream!

Wow, Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

A gentleman and a scholar

Probably one of the best lines I've heard all week:

“As I endeavor to protect our children from bears, DonorsChoose.org is protecting public school kids from classrooms that lack the materials necessary to rigorously prepare them for college,” said Comedy Channel’s Colbert, host of the nightly “Colbert Report,” in a statement.

I guess I should really be thanking these guy for this. But there is so little to thank Colbert for in life.