No sex. No drugs. No rock & roll.

Part 1 of 2...

Okay maybe not all three...

Although most parents said "don't do anything I wouldn't do" or "be home by midnight", my dad would usually forbid me of those three evils before going to see friends. And though I'm sure my family was more afraid of me being mugged this weekend I stuck to the rules as best as I could. No sex, little to no drugs and a sweet concert that rocked my face off! The John Butler Trio is somewhere within those bright lights and that was one of many highlights from NYC. The lowlights include sleeping on couches and driving back through New Jersey. But as soon as I make it back home and can upload some more pictures and links i'll share more about the weekend! Alright, more gas, more driving.

I've been magically whisked away to...

...Delaware and I thought I'd share thoughts from the road. Little known fact. Buckling up is the law, Delaware is the First State, and they charge you part of your manhood for gas now. Since when did they raise gas prices a million dollars? I'm so glad I walk to work. Anyway, why are you in Delaware Jake? Thanks for asking. I'm in need of a mental vacation and I have a friend who lives in New York. So i'm off for a 3 day weekend and I'm going to live it up a bit. I'll try to post a few pictures of fun from around NYC! Oh and i'm trying to forget that i got cussed out by a student for failing him today...i'll try to forget about that this weekend. Hopefully he will too. Have a great weekend i know i will!

No my writers didn't go on strike...

Well, I guess doing too much at the same time has finally caught up with me! Thanks for your worried posts, and to answer the burning question: I didn't get locked in the closet by my students. Though on some days, I'm sure they'd learn just as much if I was teaching from another room. Alright, I will save depressing school stories for another post when I had a better day (hopefully not a month from now), but for now a few things you've missed, like: visitors in DC, my visit to Seattle, and oh yeah...I had a birthday too!

Alright, I'll go first...I turned old. Not exactly old, but hanging out with immature adolescents who truly believe they are grown adults makes you feel old. My birthday (which is now becoming chronologically distant in my story-telling) was great, and I have a few more places to add on my "I'll take you there if you come to visit" list. In short, I didn't get to have my mom's famous birthday cake...but my roommates pulled through with a cake, some kids and teachers at school even gave me cards and a present, and I think I missed about 20 phone calls and text messages that night because my phone died! By the way, its ok if you didn't remember my birthday...because its too late now!

Then, the next week I had my first visitor! My friend Amanda from college came to town for a conference (so not actually someone intentionally visiting me) and I had my first shot at showing someone my new hometown. Though it was great to see her and hangout with someone who I've known for longer than 2 months, I'm still perfecting my local skills. I think I faked it pretty well, by only pointing out things that I know. The problem in DC is that every building is something, and it looks as such. Seriously. The department of this, the museum of that, and the District of Columbia something. So, if you come to visit...I'll point to my school, my house...and after that its, BYOTB (tour book)...I'll supply the boo-yah!

Then, the last installment of things I never mentioned: My West Coast Return! Okay, not return...just a visit. Some of you had the pleasure of seeing me in Seattle, and I even had the opportunity to stalk some of my friends and visit them last minute. The purpose of my visit was because my dad had a birthday at the end of October, and part of the present was that my genius sister got tickets to Spamalot! That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And even though the trip was long (by plane this time!), and the time was short, I still loved being back in the Northwest to see friends and family.

I know what you're thinking... "but you didn't come to my house when you visited" (in a whiny voice just like my students after I give them homework). And that may be true for some...but Santa won't be visiting their houses this year either. I'm only kidding of course, and I will hopefully let you know more about when I'm back in the greater NW during Holiday Break (call it Christmas Break...I dare you...public school teachers are so insensitive!) Alright, now I'm remembering why I don't post very often...cause I'm so long winded and now I need to grade 50 tests before bed! Goodnight...and in case you wondered...yes, I celebrate the birth of Jesus and exploitation of merchandising opportunities.

I'm Columian...

...or maybe a District-ite, Districter, DCer...forget it. But, I do have proof:

And the best part is, that I was able to effectively waste an entire Saturday. One of the many government agencies in this city that locals claim are "inefficient" and "inconvenient". I'm starting to think that the only thing people like around here is the Metro. Most of my experience driving in this city has been painful and annoying, so the only motivation to get a driver's license was to prevent idiots from checking my ID and saying: "Hey, you might want to get that renewed...it's gonna expire soon." Yeah, thanks. I heard that one already...what, no "Hey, you're birthday is coming up!"

Because my impending license expiration was an annoyance, I endured nearly 4 hours of boredom and waiting. Most of that was in lines similar to this picture on the left (which is outside the building, wrapping around to the dumpster out back...that line took 45 minutes). Once, inside I found out that I hadn't brought enough information so I had to drive back home (45 minutes roundtrip) wait in another 20 minute line, just to get a number and wait in the waiting room (for about 30 mintues). This picture on the right shows only half the room that could probably contain about 150 grumpy DC-ians at a time. I saw most Districtators reading, some with PSPs and iPods...I caught up on some grading. Once out of the tension filled room I noticed people starting to smile. Then it came clear to me: after the unhappy government employees process your paperwork, take your money and DESTROY your old ID, they send you to have your new ID picture taken. After another 20 minutes in line, the guy says: "Please stand in the blue box, look at the yellow dot, and smile for your picture." And that is why people are smiling, because they finally get to smile and leave!

I'm smiling too, but for a minute I realized that I was waiting and waiting for that little piece of plastic that confirms I have officially moved, 2801 miles away! I know that may make a few of you sad to hear that, and it makes me a little sad too, but this adventure still hasn't lost its excitement.

I continually stumble around and find new things, like Ebenezer's, which is DC's version of the Service Station. They have a "Coffee with a Cause" slogan, and are owned by a local church. Its a very big-city version of this church connection it seems...but small world moment: Brandon Heath played here last week. I love Brandon Heath (YL camp musician), but I found out too late about the concert. I need to stumble around with more convenient timing. Anyways, that's probably enough about my weekend, and I've spent too much time here this weekend (stupid Verizon, giving us internet trouble and won't fix it...that's another story that involves my roommate yelling at the Verizon 24-hour help guy!). Enjoy your Sunday!

To quote a student:

"But Mr. M, yo' momma's not a big black lady!" How right you are young man. That is generally the response you get when you tell a student you are calling home. Though my intentions for Parent/Teacher Conferences are not to get any kids in trouble, I imagine there are some students who heard it from momma.

This afternoon/evening and I had a series of unscheduled, improvised conversations with individual parents. I mentioned to a few that their child had problems turning in work, or I had to give him/her instructions no less than 11 times per activity per day, or my favorite: your student believes paper is for throwing/eating/spitting/flicking/plucking/inappropriate- note-passing and not school work. In most cases, the response was something to the effect of: "Oh no s/he di'int!" (that's not stereotyping...it's generalizing, and that still really happened!) I am glad to know that I have a few parents on my side, but I'm still waiting for a student's mother to come into my classroom and come at me for something. Trust me, I've heard some stories.

In a completely un-related story taking place no where near I live, [Ironic] You live in Medford? Come on lady!

Alright, in all seriousness, I feel very safe at my job and I will stop kidding about this for those of you who don't think its funny (Mom). But I get that comment from a lot of people, and usually find it ridiculous because if I can't feel safe talking about math with uninterested 12-year-olds then the terrorists have won.

And because I'd love nothing better than to be a crazy old math teacher some day, I decided to do something completely unrelated this weekend in DC. I saw Raul Midon in concert last night, and temporarily doubted my life choices, which could have been aspiring to do this. (Sorry I had to use Leno...I heard him first on Letterman a while back) Alright, I'll never be able to do that, and I have my sense of sight...oh well, teaching math it is! I hope I gave you enough links/videos to watch and be entertained because nothing really exciting happened at conferences like I thought.

The day I've been waiting for...

Alright, any pre-3-day-weekend day is a day I'm looking forward to (or day to which I look forward...for the English teacher). But today was especially strange, being that I didn't teach the first two periods of the day. All students were held in the auditorium because of an incident that happened yesterday after school. Lets just say...these kids think they are tough...then they had an assembly to threaten them with being arrested for being stupid (Yes, you can be arrested for that!) and getting into fights.

However, the good part of not teaching 2 periods, is that you have one heck of a planning period, in which secretaries and aides come into your room and help you "decorate" your room so that it is up to "standard". Alright, I'm just a little bitter that as a teacher, I am required to have certain things (standards, data and other glorified decorations) posted in my room to somehow highlight my teaching, just to be ignored and unused by my students. And truth-be-told no amount of "decor" will detract from the eye sore in my room in the form of 3 10-year-old computers...talk to me when you take out the trash!

Alright, I'll stop whining...just one more thing: DC doesn't know when Oktoberfest weekend actually is celebrated. But, at least I have roommates to celebrate late with. Alright, I haven't posted in a while...and then I just complained. How about this: I'll let you know next week how my first Parent/Teacher Conferences go! I've been told that I have nothing to look forward to...unless a parent wants to chew me out. Stay tuned!

DC's Finest

If you felt like I have been MIA it might be because I had a pretty crappy week at school and talking about it didn't change that. So I sat around this weekend trying to figure out ways to make my job easier and decide on the best way to deal with some classroom issues...because they don't like it when you solve problems by beating students. So in between those times I watched a few football games. One of which was live...and may not be what you're thinking of football. I went to a Major League Soccer game! DC United makes the Nationals look like the ugly step child of DC pro sports. The title of this entry refers not only to the relative status of the team in its league ability, but also to the rowdy group of folks in the picture. The Barra Brava fan club gets pretty crazy and celebrates goals by screaming loudly and throwing beer on each other! The whole game was fun to watch even
though I didn't get a beer shower I didn't chant along!

Tell me something I don't know

This article about wasting time in traffic isn't really worth reading, but I scrolled to the bottom and noticed that my former home, the fair city of Spokane is the LEAST congested metropolitan city IN THE COUNTRY! Congratulations! (Wait...did you say Spokane was a metropolitan city? Alright, I'll allow it.)

In my infinite nerdiness (as a self-admitted geek), I googled the original report so that I could look at the actual data. The facts of interest from the study was that Spokanites waste the least amount of time waiting in traffic delays, and have the 3rd lowest gas wasting population in the study. After reflecting on the level of complaints of road conditions/traffic problems I witnessed when I was resident of Spokane, I realized that no matter where you live residents will invariably whine about transportation. I'm going to ruin the surprise, but not every state can have the orange road cone as its state tree, or believe that the 4 seasons are fall, winter, spring and construction (end rant).

The flip side of the news, is that now I've moved to the 2nd-worst-traffic-delayed-5th-most-gas-wasteful city in the nation! This was an ironic discovery, because I was reading the article on CarFreeDC Day and I had also pledged to not drive my car all week (even though I walk anyways, and have a tourists knowledge of the Metro). I am quite sure that my good deed can be traded in for a carbon-offset, or indulgences from the pope. More likely, is that now they have my name and I'm going to be called to sign global warming petitions or donate my organs to those less fortunate (end rant...tw0).

If you can't already tell, this was rather amusing to me, thanks for listening. From Spokane to DC. Its a small world.

Just thinking out loud...

Or actually using the web to think. But if you need my new email or address to contact me, just use the last email address you have. I am checking all my emails right now, and i'll try to consolidate soon. And that way i don't have to post all my personal information on the internet.

Whats that in the distance?

A giant tower with little people running under its shade after a stupid flying piece of plastic.

What do I do with my life you ask?

I truly couldn't answer that question even if I knew. I am half way through the weekend, and I still need to spend two weekends worth of work getting caught up on lesson planning! I told someone I need 8 days in a week the other day to have a real life, but I managed to have a little fun yesterday!

If you can't tell by the picture posted above...that is the Washington Monument...and people playing ultimate frisbee. I'm sure my friends from Whitworth would either be proud (more likely indifferent) that I found a frisbee team! (Or that John found me to play on his team). But when he gave me directions, I forgot that was just south of the White House too. Needless to say, pretty good view to the north and south while playing. Though there are more important things in life, we did win the game, and they may even pretend like they want me to come back. They were fun to play with...it was jut fun to run around in the sun.

Who's John you say? Well, I won't give you the whole back story on meeting John...but suffice it to say he's excited I play ultimate and am a math teacher. Apparently he wants me on their team because I'm young (little does he know that I'm not good) and he also wants me to tutor his daughter in math. So, he took me out to dinner Friday night with his family so I could meet his daughter (4th grade) and wife and son (6 years old). It was fun to meet them, and I will officially have taught all 3 school levels math by the end of this (my first) year of teaching. So then he says: "what are you doing tomorrow at 2pm?"...of course my answer is: "I have no life"...such a lie...but I can't pass up fun like that.

I also spent money I don't have at Target, and watched stupid television on my DVR. Those things were not on the original agenda...I just got bored and lazy. So, its Sunday morning and I've been walking around the market for a little while, now I'm having coffee with some interweb and fresh air a la carte. There is this cool gospel group performing on the street corner that I'm listening to also (did I mention I live in a cool neighborhood!) Alright, I should go back to work...I mean home. And before you know it...it will be bed time again!

Can't a guy just come home and blog in the comfort of his lone piece of IKEA furniture?

I promise i'll stop posting about fights when they happen, but today was a bad day so it kinda figures two kids were beating each other outside my class to add to it. I'm told we get internet tomorrow. Just in time to report on Parent Night! I can't wait...i think. This is going to be a rough week.

Things i've learned about being a different kind of Washingtonian...

On a lighter note: No fights today. But thought i'd share some interesting big city stuff and if anyone can link to facts that would be preferable...because i'm posting this as a text message...and we all know how truthful blogs can be! So this picture is of the trailer park where Russel Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio are filming "Body of Lies" and it also happens to be our playground! It was only for a day and they did blow up a car on the street in my favorite neighborhood market...which i will take you to if you come to visit. I'm sure the movie will be terrible but there is also a scene shot in our gym! No lies...we are making money off hollywood! And the other dumb thing i learned was that now that my roommates are back in session with congress...the light is on at the top of the capitol. I know...stupid stuff a local should know. I'll know it all in due time...everything except how
politics works that is! I'll be in the loop eventually! Enjoy the picture taken through my window!

Day 7...Fight 2

I'm a little bit more distressed by the fight today, but i'll be honest: it doesn't get easier. Today's incident happened before 6th period instead of while i was teaching but now i have 4 boys in that same class who have beef with each other and two of them have made each other bleed. I'm not sure what the administration thinks of me but they sure won't tell me...and i guarantee they don't have new teacher training for this. I wish i could get these kids figured out before they come back in my class because we might have some math happening soon. It is interesting the advice i get from some teachers about covering my a%§ and as helpful as that is...i'm not the one who needs help. I have no desire to be a counselor but i am feeling a little out of the loop from admin and that is sad. I'm glad today is over and we have things to look forward to tomorrow but if i go 4 for 4 on breaking
up fights this week i may just have to beef up and watch some more pro wrestling shows.

Days of school - 6, Fights - 1, Kids suspended - 2, Actually teaching math - Priceless

Cold-cocked. Messed up. Owned (Pwned). Straight jacked in the jaw. The business end of a rabbit punching.

And tell Mr. White what he's won: that's right...get out of my class!

I thought I was just putting off the talkative kids at first. Now I realize, that when students complain about others "clownin' on me" that means: if you don't listen to me I'm going to make they other guy look like a clown with a big red nose and black eye (alright, if you want the real definition, try the link to UrbanDictionary.com for one of many entries in my blog!)

So, I was pretty surprised I made it through a week without it, but for now...I'm glad the swing wasn't taken at me. I pulled the guys off each other pretty quick, but I'm serious about the rabbit punches...he got a few quick ones in and then the chairs went over. I had pretty good attention of that class for the first time in a week. I threw one kid out to security and then had the rest of them: "This is a good example of how NOT to act in Mr. Milliron's class...are we clear?"...I love having that attention (minus the fight part)!

So, I'm at an establishment down the street that provides internet and refreshments. As for the rest of the day, I'll head home to my house (that is internet-less) and couch/chair-less (I don't know which luxury I would like more?) but I am setting up my place pretty successfully. Well, at least I have a microwave. I'll upload some pictures here in a while also. We'll make the roommate purchasing trip to IKEA next weekend (I'll be sure to let you know what HELL is like) and I hope that I can keep a steady stream of teacher stories coming for you! Thanks for listening...err...reading.

Attn: I am No Longer Homeless!

So this should be the last time i have to pack my life into a car...and in case that is true i'm documenting it and enjoying the trip across town. I looked at the place for the first time and i have to say it is pretty sweet. After a weekend of unpacking i'll try and send a few more pictures to the blog so i can show it off. Maybe a pic of the roommates too. Alright, unpack until i crash and then i might have to go out to find college football tomorrow...i guess that means goodnight. Now that i am an official hard-working-salary-receiving-law-abiding-union-member teacher, i think its appropriate to wish u a happy Labor Day also!

At least I figured out one thing

And that is, the guy I'm living with reminds me of John Candy (as if he had a few mannerisms of Milton from Office Space...and if you don't know Milton, then it loses the ridiculous opposite nature of these two characters) Anyways, this guy has lived in DC a while and is pretty proud to talk about his city, and has great ideas and interesting insight to what's happening (oh did I mention he's volunteering on the local Obama campaign). Pretty funny guy to be staying with, and just an interesting guy to have met. Alright, glad I finally figured that out...

Because I have an entirely new homeroom! Yes, that's right. Day 3, and they've already flipped the script on everyone (well at least most of it). To sum up: there was an easy way and a hard way to make sure that kids were equally distributed in the right homeroom...they chose the hard way! Instead of just changing kids schedules to match where they already were and do minimal shifting, they decided to take every kid out of class and physically move them where they should be...can we say: "Day ruined"? Everybody now! I enjoy chaos as much as the next guy, and though I have done minimal complaining, it is nice to know that teachers feel crazed by this process too. And some of the kids who got plucked from my homeroom (all of them) were sad to be leaving my class after only 3 days...and I forcibly bored them! I guess the bright side is, that I will know the entire 7th grade by the end of next week!

Alright, just thought I'd give you the inside scoop. I'm hoping that someone learns math in my class in the near future, but I may have to force the issue. I am getting worn out earlier and earlier...by the time I move in with my roommates on Friday, I'll be the resident senior citizen who eats dinner at the Chuck-o-Rama Buffet at 4pm and goes to bed before first edition of Sportscenter (remember...3 hours difference). Alright, I thought this would be short...but I type fast....I'll work on that!

Some Things I Appreciate

First days of school: actually I think I was only ever into the FIRST first day of school, and after that saw through all the glamour and into the nothingness-waste-of-time that it was in my education.

Children: because as my brother reminded me...that's why I'm doing this...and they are our future. (Actually meaning my brother is pathetically sarcastic, and I think middle schoolers are hilarious and might just be the only sanity I have in an over-politiked world I am experiencing here...unless of course they riot on me...then I'll let security carry them out)...and on that note...

Kids who can go to the bathroom by themselves: and the adults who let them...this film has not yet been rated, because the release date will be NEVER and I'm sure there would be inappropriate poop-footage.

People who make me breakfast: even if it is just ordered from across the street bakery serving delicious fattening pastries in our teacher's lounge! (Oh, and Mom's dutch babies too...yes I eat babies!)

Rain: none of this surprise torrential downpour stuff...I like the "mopey-emo-misty crap" that everyone says we have on the west coast

Free stuff: like the second air mattress that I've slept on in as many weeks, culminating in the longest period in my life I've ever been a freeloading, drain on the economy (just get a hotel room already).

Performance enhancing drugs: that don't make me feel bad getting up 7 extra minutes early to find a fix for the first day of school!


I'm sorry it wasn't more in depth than that, but I thought after a crazy day of having my class-size flux from 19 to 37 in lesss than an hour...there might just be something better in my life. I went to school, had a meeting, met some students, gave them some rules (Mr. Milliron's Non-Negotiables....how's that for a big word...they're in 7th grade remember), and I think after I sufficiently bored them to death, then the day ended and I fell over! I'm exhausted and I feel like I did nothing. So, tomorrow's game plan: Do Math!

School starts when?

Oh...tomorrow...no problem. I think I'm as ready as I will ever be. I also think that this weekend has been hectic enough that I should tell y'all about it. You might enjoy it, you might not, but its all been back dated so read below if you are interested. Otherwise, wait until tomorrow night, and I'll let you know how the first day of school goes.